Denial - a Breddy fanfic

18.

Eddy allowed the older boy to wrap his arms around him. He was mentally exhausted from all the thinking, all the confusion, all the emotions... It was nice to be back in Brett's embrace, even though they were both soaked.
"Brett..." he mumbled into his shoulder, still feeling the heavy raindrops hitting them. He was really starting to get cold now, and from Brett's shivering he knew that he was cold as well.
"We need to go inside, Brett, you're gonna get sick..." He didn't care if he himself got sick, it was he who asked if Brett could come in the first place. It would be his fault if Brett got sick. He took a firm grip of Brett's hand and gently pulled him towards the door.

When they got inside, both were dripping wet.
"I'm sorry for making you wait", Eddy said silently while they were taking off their shoes. He was cold and nervous. He was going to tell Brett how things were, but it had to be the right moment.
"It's fine, the rain wasn't that bad anyway" Brett replied, followed by a short laugh while making a point of wringing up the edge of the t-shirt he was wearing. Man, how much Eddy loved that joking side of Brett. He hadn't seen it in quite a while, because of all the emotional chaos they both obviously had been going through lately.
"Do you want to borrow something? You look like a half drowned cat..." Eddy joked back, but his voice were shaking slightly with nervousness. They could still hear the rain drumming on the roof.
"If you have something I can borrow?" Brett said softly while pulling some wet hair out of his face. His glasses were almost impossible to see anything through.
"Of course", Eddy said before running off to his room to get something for both of them. For Brett he found the 'musician' sweatshirt and a pair of black sweatpants. He found a similar, but not the same, outfit for himself. Similar sweatpants, but a hoodie instead of a sweatshirt. Or... would Brett prefer the hoodie? He brought all the garments back to the living room where Brett was waiting.
"Uh, I didn't know if... uh... hoodie..?" he stuttered out. Shit, he literally sounded like an actual idiot. The nervousness was taking over, way worse than their first ever concert as TwoSet. How would he even manage to say the words 'I lied to you, Brett' when it got to that?
"Hoodie is good", Brett said assuringly, noticing how nervous the younger one was. What was there to be nervous about, anyway? Hadn't they established everything one could possibly be nervous about already?
"I'll go get changed in the bathroom" Eddy said quickly before grabbing the sweatshirt he originally had intended for Brett and one of the pairs of sweatpants and almost running to the bathroom. He shut and locked the door behind him and looked at himself in the mirror.
"It's gonna be fine, he'll forgive you, Eddy", he whispered to himself in the mirror. He was still nervous. He closed his eyes and tried to do some breathing exercises he had learned from the trumpet player while they made the "beginner vs professional"-videos. The exercises had helped him relax before concerts before, but this time they didn't help at all.
"You'll tell him you lied at first, and then how it's no longer a lie. You got this." He didn't really believe his own peptalk. He was sure Brett would be hurt, that he would never talk to him again. He was sure he'd never feel Brett's arms gently wrapped around his waist again. He was starting to tear up again.
"I'm sorry Brett, but I lied at first. I didn't mean to, I just..." he rehearsed quietly to himself in the mirror before trailing off. No, that was stupid. Try again.
"I lied, but I think I..." Nope, no better this time. He still hadn't changed out of his soaking wet clothes. He had completely forgotten why he was in the bathroom in the first place. His tears were flowing down his face non stop now.
"Brett, I..." Suddenly he was interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door.
"Eddy?" he heard muffled from outside. "You okay? You've been in there for ever."
Shit. Eddy hurridly wiped his tears and tried to clear his throat before answering.
"Yeah, just hard to get out of wet skinny jeans" he lied, but a voice crack  on the word 'skinny' exposed his lie.
"I'll be right there", he continued, trying to sound more convincingly before Brett could say anything. He quickly started to change out of his dripping wet clothes and into the soft, warm sweatpants and sweatshirt while his heart ponded rapidly. He heard Brett's steps move away from in front of the bathroom door and took a deep breath. He turned to himself in the mirror again.
"You got this, Eddy. Come on."

He immediately lost any courage he might have had left in his body the second he opened the bathroom door. Shit, what was he going to say? Hesitatingly, he slowly shuffled his way to the living room where Brett had made himself comfortable on the couch with Eddy's slightly too large hoodie and obviously too long sweatpants on. His hair was still wet from the rain, but he had wiped off his glasses so that he could see properly again.
"Thanks for the dry set of clothes", he said while Eddy quietly sat down. Eddy was damn near another outburst or crying.
"But why did you want me to come in the first place? You could have just come back to my place, you know?" Brett tilted his head vaguely to once side while asking without realizing it himself. Eddy facepalmed mentally. Why didn't he think of tthat in the first place?
"Yeah, sorry, I just... just... I don't know." He lifted his legs into the couch, and avoided eye contact with Brett. He was desperately thinking about how to say what he was about to say.
"Eddy, what's wrong?" Brett asked with worry in his tone. "Did I do something?"
Eddy shook his head as a reply. "No, no... I did something, Brett. I'm also so sorry."
Brett's mind went into overdrive mode now. Had he cheated on him? Did he find someone else?
He finally realized how disgusting you are, Brett.
Eddy saw Brett's panicky face and crawled closer to Brett.
"Brett, please, hear me out, it's not..." Eddy's mouth was moving at 100 km/h, with words flowing out like a river. Brett's panicked face had it's attention completely on Eddy's eyes, even though they completely avoided meeting Brett's gaze. "It kind if corrected itself, even though I lied at first and well..."
"Wait", Brett interrupted, feeling his heart sinking. "Lied? You lied?" Of course it had been a lie, it was too good to be true. Brett felt like an idiot, sitting there in this too large hoodie that smelled like Eddy. Helt felt like like an idiot for liking the scent. Of course it had to be a lie, because why would anyone, least of all Eddy, see him like that?
Eddy could tell Brett was breaking down mentally, and he was really stressed out hy it. Shit, this was exactly what he wanted to avoid. This was why he had lied in the first place, and now he made everything worse.
"Brett, I... I... lied at first, but... but then... then something changed, Brett, when, when  you... held me..." Eddy was panicking hard, and the speed and stuttering combined in his voice reflected that.
"Liar", Brett whispered, with his head tilted down. He was heartbroken, he was ashamed. How could he have been so easily fooled? And noe Eddy was making up another lie to make him feel better again. He really thought he'd fall for it twice?
"Please, Brett, I... I really regret lying the first time... but... I wanted you to be happy... I... I thought... it would help... I was so worried, Brett, please..." Eddy was just barely able to force out the last word as he lost control of his voice. His tears were flowing as if someone had opened the tap.
Brett bit his lip hard as he tried to find his voice back. "So, you pity me?" he whispered, sobbing between each word. In many ways he felt humiliated. He had offered himself and his deepest feelings for Eddy, and it had all been a lie.
"I love you, Brett. Please, believe me." Eddy moved to sit on his knees next to Brett, just like he had right before their first and only kiss. He was so scared to lose Brett, he was so scared to lose his best friend over a stupid lie. He took Brett's face in his hands, and the shorter boy looked into the taller's dark brown eyes. They were desperate and honest, and the tears had made them red and puffy. Brett didn't know how to respond. The soft hands cupping his cheeks made it hard to think. Time stopped around them as they sat in silence looking into each other's eyes: One to find the truth, and the other to tell the truth.
"Say it again", Brett whispered, examining the taller boy's eyes for hesitation. "If you really mean it, say it again."
Eddy took a deep breath and leaned in so close to Brett that he could feel his breathing on his face. He trembled slightly, but he didn't hesitate for one moment.
"I love you, Brett", Eddy whispered before letting their lips meet for the second time in their lives.