Behind The Scenes of the vlogs

27. The note she hated

Natalie and David had been spending more time together. She had known David for twelve years now and she would swear that she knows him better than anyone. She loves him so much she can't even explain it, and the thought of loosing him makes her cry. That is exactly the reason she has never admitted to David she loves him.

It was early in the morning when she woke him up to run some errands together and then meet with the guys to film. Natalie was driving his Tesla because he was not in the mood to drive, he rarely did these days, and even when he did he put the music on blast so he wouldn't have to talk.

Natalie turned her head to look at him to make sure he is fine. "Dave?" she said when no one was talking.

He looked at her and didn't even bother smiling, he waited for her to talk.

"Are you okay, David?" she asked in a sweet tone just like she was his mother and he shook his head trying to convince him that he was. Natalie didn't say anything. It'll pass, she thought and continued driving. When later that day they met with his friends, and David pulled out the camera to film, he finally smiled and seemed like he was having fun.

Natalie looked at her friend smiling and she smiled too. She was relieved that he was fine now, maybe he wasn't talking earlier because he was tired.

On the way back, David was once again silent. A few minutes in the drive, and David puts some music. Natalie notices. He didn't want to talk again. Okay, she thought, maybe she did something.

They arrived at their house and David was still not talking, Jason called David and he was unamused by his conversation with his friend too. David wasn't in the mood for anything. Natalie was concerned that she had done something wrong, and the thought of being the reason that David is unhappy made her weak.

She followed him to his room and now she was studying every little move of his. She wanted to maybe know if he was mad at her without them talking about it.

She didn't notice anything unusual, he laid down next to her in his bed and started editing. While he was editing he would crack a smile once in a while, but then he would be serious again.

Natalie had noticed he was silent the whole week, and decided that it was time to solve this. "David?" she tried to catch his attention by touching his arm. His look went straight from his computer screen to her hand on his arm and then to her eyes. "Are we okay?" she asked trying to find if he was mad at her.

"Yeah" he simply says. Now his eyes looked confused and not lifeless.

"It's just that you haven't been talking to me at all the past week" she explains and forgets to mention that he hasn't been talking at all.

"It's nothing really" he says and his heart beats faster now. He didn't want her to believe that he was mad at her, but there was no way to describe his feelings. He felt hopeless, alone in a room full of people. When everybody laughed at something Jason would say he was there to capture the moment but he didn't feel the moment. He had realized that he was not living. He was vlogging. Nobody seemed to understand that he was in the room. He was just the camera for everything.

Natalie looked into his eyes. For years she thought she knew when he lied, but this time she didn't catch his lie. She felt like the person that was looking at her was not her friend, but she could not realize that the person who was looking at her right now was thinking of putting an end to his life for the past weeks. That was crying some days of the week, and felt weak for even existing.

David was the most important person in a lot of people's lives, but the fact that he was so loved made him question every little action of love. He could not believe that his friends loved him for who he was, he could not realize that they were friends with Dave and not David Dobrik.