4 A.M. Thoughts

Chapters

I might not have many chapters in my book

But i do know a thing or two

because so many things have happened in my 14 chapters,

I kinda caught on to a lot of things

Some of it i'm grateful i learned early

But then again, 

I would have liked to learn on my own

Some things though, i did learn on my own

And yeah it hurt like hell

But at least i'm learning from my mistakes

my childhood chapters weren't that great

In fact, they were completely fucked

But i got through

So far my teenage chapters haven't been bad

They haven't been the best

But they haven't been bad

I'm learning from a lot 

And that's always good

Sometimes i wish i could go back and fix things

actually its all of the time

But i cant really do that

Now can i?

Something I've noticed throughout all of my chapters: 

I'm toxic

That has always stayed the same

No matter how hard i try to fix it

It cant be fixed 

it might be a tactic to not get hurt

But its not fair to everybody else

because I'm hurting everybody i love 

And I'm not trying to 

I'm really not

i hope they realize that

I just cant seem to stop myself

from pushing people away

When something minor changes

I know it seems childish

But its just my protection

My way of hiding from problems 

And in my chapters I've learned

That you choose what you do

Even if its wrong

Because you are your own person

So choose what goes in your book