4 A.M. Thoughts

Honesty

Can i be honest?
I've been thinking a lot recently
About one specific thing
And its been painful
But its also been amazing
In all honesty
I never really stopped
I only told myself i did
Because i shouldnt have thought about it
But im constantly thinking about it
Ive been tempted to tell you about it
But im kinda scared...
Because i dont want to ruin anything
With anyone
And i really want to tell you...
But i cant
Because it would ruin just about everything
And i cant really have that
So i stay behind
And i say nothing
And act like nothing is on my mind
When in reality
My mind is overflowing
But i wont say or do anything
Maybe you will figure it out
But at the same time,
Maybe you wont..
And i dont know which one i want more
Because if you find out
It is going to fuck up everything
But if i dont say anything,
Then i might just explode
Probably not
But im a bit dramatic
And you know that...
Everybody does