4 A.M. Thoughts

The one day i hate

My birthday is in less than a month

And family is starting to ask what i want

I tell them the small things

Like bracelets or flannel

Because they never get old

Because i dont really make it a big deal

Its the one day i truly hate

I hate my birthday

But before i go to sleep

Im forced to think about it

And what i want

Last night, i decided what i truly want

Even if i cant tell anyone

Because it cant be bought

And i will never actually get it

All i want for my birthday

Is my life back

Before everything went sideways

I want to go back in time

So i can hear conversations again

I want to hear those words

And they actually mean what they did before

I want things to go back to the way they were

When i wasnt scared of losing people

But forget it

Its just a dream

A dream for the one day i hate