4 A.M. Thoughts

Its pretty fucked up

I got used to a lot of things

Like the abuse from my mom

And every other thing she did

I am now getting used to getting blamed

Everyone blames me

For literally everything

Something isnt working?

My fault

Someone failed an assignment?

My fault

I doesnt even have to deal with me

But its somehow always my fault

And its pretty fucked up

He fucked up

And then blamed me for it

Because im apparently stressing him out

I dont see how

I dont even come out of my room

He has a tiny panic attack

And yes i know how bad they are

But he blames me for it

And then he goes and guilt trips me

Because i walked out of the room

Because i cannot mentally take it

So he blames me for it

Even though i have nothing to do with

His problems that led to it

Thats his problem

Not mine

But yet he still blames me

He always does

So now i just go along with it

Its my fault

Just like it always is

I take the blame

And act like it doesnt hurt

I put on my mask so i look okay

But im not

I guess im just everybody's problem

Its pretty fucked up

But i have to ask

When will it not be my fault?

When am i allowed to be weak

Instead of keeping you together?

Not anytime soon

I bet

So ill just be your

Perfect

Little

Soldier

Like i always have been