4 A.M. Thoughts

Déjà vu or History repeating itself?

I looked around today
And i heard things today
And i did things today
The only question i had:
Is this déjà vu or history repeating itself?
Because it felt like i did it before
Every little thing
Felt like its been done before
And the more i thought about it
The more i couldnt figure it out
Is it déjà vu or history repeating itself?
I had normal coversations
I sat in the same places
I talked to the same people
But this time it felt different
Strange even
But i couldnt figure out why
I didnt really think much of it
Maybe it was just an off day
Because i have those a lot
However
This did not feel like an off day
Is it déjà vu or history repeating itself?
I dont know
I talked to the same people
The people i consider friends
But most of them dont really talk to me
Outside of school anyway
But they are still my friends
And while talking to them
My mind stops
It doesn't think
It doesnt process
It does nothing
But it found its answer
History it quietly whispers
But i dont hear it
I just continue talking
As if i dont feel uncomfortable
Which i do
But i dont make it noticeable
Because all of my friends are happy
On this not so normal day
Is it déjà vu or history repeating itself?
A question that i have asked many times
And always found the answer
Not today
Today is not normal
Sure, i did normal things
But it feels different now
Like there isnt really a point
I dont have to do these things
And maybe i knew that
Maybe i just found out
While im looking around
I see a girl
A girl i had never seen before
Maybe i didnt look hard enough
I saw that same smile
The one everyone wears
When they are truly happy
The one a lot of us dont wear often
The one I've only worn once
But looking at her
I smile softly
Half-heartedly
Because at least somebody is happy
Right?
But then i get that feeling
Déjà vu?
Or just history repeating itself?
Just not with me
But with a different girl
Its not until im in the car
On my way somewhere
And im talking about my day
Until i realize
History is repeating itself
But with different people
And it makes me sad
Because i want to warn them
That they should just breathe
And relax
Not everything has to happen right now
But i wont
I wont interfere
Because i only saw this girl today
But her smile said it all
She has what she wants
And who would i be
To tell her something
That might not even happen
I would be a terrible person
So i dont say anything
Because she will soon learn
Colors are metaphors
And she sees them all
Reality is grey
When the metaphors fade
The grey appears
And she shall snap back to reality
And the grey will contrast with the blue
Until all that is left
Is nothing
And nothing you do
Can stop this
Because everybody already knows
Just how this plays out
We want to tell you
But we wont
In order for history to stop repeating
We must learn
So learn from this
Because we want to warn you
And we would if we could
But we wont
But i ask you
Is it déjà vu or history repeating itself?
Thats for you to decide