CAUSE & EFFECT (Vol III)

Part 12- "But it's not the good old days Roger, it's not even close"

Stepping out of Dr Millers office, Daisy pulled her coat tight against her. The wind was crisp and cold, winter had emerged and was casting its gloomy weather over London.

A black Bentley pulled up in front of her as she stood by the side of the road. The rear passenger side window scrolled down.

"How was therapy?" He asked her.

"Same shit different day" she replied exhausted.

Holding up a bottle of champagne, he smiled broadly hoping it would cheer her up "let's celebrate, get in"

Daisy opened the door and slid beside Alex "what are we celebrating?" She asked as a long stemmed champagne glass was thrust into her hand.

"Us" Alex replied popping open the cork expertly.

                                  ************

Roger ran his fingers through his hair quickly while waiting for the buzzer to buzz him up.

The door clicked open which he quickly pushed and rushed through it.

Knocking softly, he waited patiently to see her, both of them actually.

"Hey" Diana smiled gently while holding baby Rosie lovingly in her arms.

Rosie stretches her arms out at the sight of her father, something that absolutely melted Diana.

"Hi baby girl, daddy missed you so so much" he cooed while rubbing his rose against hers making her giggle.

"Did you want to come in?" Diana asked politely stepping aside from the doorway.

"Sure" he replied surprised at the invitation.

"How's the girl pad?" Roger asked casually as he made his way to the couch looking around.

"It's great actually. We love it here....Rog I need to discuss something with you. As you know it's Christmas in a few weeks, and we haven't discussed what we would be doing about...well how's it going to work" Diana jumped to the point of why she invited Roger in.

Giving his head a quick shake, Roger  sat up and turned his body towards Diana "right, well I haven't really thought about it, I just assumed you would want to organise something and I'd just go along with it"

Diana was annoyed at his complete lack of preparation, especially considering his daughter was involved.

"Right" she started "well Daisy and I were going to have a quiet one this year, and go see our families the following day, so if you wanted to come by and see Rosie" she trailed off at the sad reality that this wouldn't be the last time they had this discussion, it would be reoccurring annually.

"Brian and Anita are having a small get together at theirs, he mentioned that if you girls wanted to stop by you're more than welcome" Roger offered "but I mean, I'm happy to come here instead"

"Would Freddie...." Diana said his name hesitantly "will he be there?"

"Uh yeah" Roger bluntly replied, a little surprised that she would even need to ask.

"Is he seeing anyone?" Diana's next question was more authoritative.

"Is he seeing someone?" Roger raised his brows amused "Di, he's barely functioned in a year, he can barely stand the sight of himself let alone anyone else"

Diana felt sad at the idea of the great Freddie Mercury being described in such a pitiful way, but also was relieved that atleast it wasn't only Daisy who was in such a state.

"I'll speak to Daisy" she promised.

"Speak to me about what?" Daisy asked from behind them both as she arrived home. Rosie lifted her little hands up to her "aaaaaan-teeeeh!"

"Aunty that's right" Daisy repeated lovingly as she took the baby, and gave her a big kiss while bouncing her up and down.

"Roger was saying that Brian is having a Christmas party and we're invited if we wanted to go" Diana knew Daisy would say no and made no attempt to convince her otherwise.

Daisy's face turned serious and stood still while looking at Roger and Diana staring back at her.

"I don't think that's a good idea" her reply was of genuine concern, more for Freddie than herself.

"He'll be fine D, it'll be like the good old days" Roger smiled trying to lift the mood.

"But it's not the good old days Roger, it's not even close" Daisy was saddened by the truth of her own response. There was nothing remotely close to the "good old days" left.

                                   ***********

Sitting in his parents living room, Freddie blankly stared at the tv which was turned off.

Kash, who visited daily to see Freddie, sat beside him with a tray of sweets.

"Mum made your favourites" she gently said while showing him the tray.

Continuing to stare ahead he made no effort to look down at her offering "I'm not hungry sis"

Kash sighed loudly.

"What!" Freddie's voice became raised at the sound of his sisters sigh.

"Aren't you getting a little tired of this pity party? I mean it's been a year" Kash was clearly exasperated by Freddie's state despite being his biggest support.

"Pity party?" He spat back

"Yeah Fred, you think you're the only one to have a marriage breakdown? Everyone has been trying to support you and keep you from drinking yourself to death! It's exhausting" Kash felt a weight lift off her chest as she finally lifted the lid on the burden that had been plaguing her for months.

Freddie gave no response despite wanting to.. the fact was, she was right. Looking back over the course of the year he realised that he was being selfish and thoughtless towards his friends, family and bandmates.

Standing up he made his way towards the door "I'll be back later"

                                   **********

Knocking on Rogers door, Freddie waited for an answer. He smiled slightly as he heard Roger fumble his way through God knows what to get to him.

"Fred!" Roger exclaimed loudly as he opened the door holding a very happy Rosie "come in"

"I'm not bothering am I?" Freddie asked concerned as he stepped through the door and over the Endless baby toys scattered in the floor. 

"Not at all, Rosie and I were about to about to have dinner, did you want to join us? We have plenty left over?" Rogers warmth was exactly what Freddie needed to hear in his given state. He smiled and gave a nod then reached for Rosie.

"And how's my favourite girl?" He asked her as he cuddled her in his arms.

"She's amazing but I don't know how Diana does it, juggling everything at once, it's hard" Roger confessed while tying a cooking apron around himself and preparing a plate for Freddie.

"Do you think you and Di will ever..."

"Reconcile?" Roger asked finishing Freddie's sentence "I mean that's what I'm hoping, she hasn't mentioned divorce so maybe there's some kind of hope for us"

"So hope is what's keeping you going?" Freddie's innocent question had Roger turn around and lean against the kitchen bench with a half smile.

"Without hope, what else do we have?"