CAUSE & EFFECT (Vol III)

Part 22-"I am so sorry Daisy. For everything. I honestly wish we'd never met"

The soft light from the monitors lit the room just enough for him to see.

His eyes burned as they tried to focus on his surroundings. He wanted to rub them but the pain as he lifted his arm had him drop it down immediately.

His attentions were captured by her warmth beside him. His neck ached as he turned his head towards her. Taking in of the smell of her hair, he was suddenly desperate to get even closer to her.

Moving slightly, his action had her eyes to fly open as she sat up "Freddie!" Her voice broke into a cry as she said his name.

Her withheld emotions began to pour out of her, not only about him but everything. Overwhelmed by always being the strong one she finally let it all out, something her therapist would have been proud over.

Reaching for the remote beside his bed, Daisy pressed the pale blue button repeatedly to signal for medical assistance.

Promptly, a middle aged nurse came into the room. Her face lit up as she saw Freddie's eyes squinting open. Removing the tube from his throat she smiled "it's wonderful to have yer back with us dear" she said with a strong Scottish accent.

*********

"So what do we do with him? He can't go back to Rogers, no offence mate" Brian began as he questioned his band mates and Daisy's uncle Dr Geoffrey

"Could he stay with...Daisy?" John asked sheepishly, knowing well that his idea was extreme.

"Daisy?!" Roger repeated loudly "yeah! That's a great idea Deaks!" He added sarcastically.

Daisy's uncle raised his brows in contemplation "actually, given the circumstances Daisy would be best for him. She's great with him and...he'd be safe from any relapses"

"Are YOU going to have that conversation with her?" Roger interrupted questioning Geoffrey.

********

Daisy sat beside Freddie with a nervous intensity while doctors and nurses walked in and out of his room the entire morning.

Unable to speak to him, she chewed her nails while her foot tapped on the leg of her chair, a habit she only indulged in during times of high anxiety.

Riddled with guilt, fear and anger, she watched. Freddie was obviously weak and needed rest, her ability to switch off completely kicked in for his sake. She figured now was not the time to lecture or scold him over his actions.

As the chaos died down, the two of them were left alone with Freddie watching her quietly.

His own guilt over what he had done, made it hard to speak to her, or even think of something to justify what had happened.

"I fucked up" he finally said, his voice sounding nothing like his own.

She looked into his eyes and thought carefully. She didn't want to hurl abuse at a man who was laying in a hospital bed after having tried to end his own life.

Unable to read her, Freddie tried to sit up slightly to gain a better position to strike up a conversation.

Removing her hand from her mouth, Daisy parted her lips to speak "yeah you really did"

"I...I am so sorry Daisy. For everything. I honestly wish we'd never met" he confessed his voice now clearing and filled with regret.

Daisy frowned, disappointed in his remark "I don't. Ever since I've met you....nobody else is worth thinking about"

"But you..."Freddie was confused by her confession. She thinks about him but doesn't want to be with him?

"I've told you, it's not because I don't love you. I still want you! I still get butterflies when I see you! HELL! I get a whole bloody zoo! I'm scared to lose you because I know that I won't ever find anything as special as what we have" she had no idea where all of this was coming from, but the pain of potentially losing him for good, scared her at a level that was too deep.

"I look at you and I just love you, and it terrifies me! It terrifies me to think of what I am willing to do for you! Or what I'm willing to give up! Freddie, if you'd died, I would have nothing left to live for" her voice dropped at the sad fact that she was capable of ending her own life over him.

"How can you..." Freddie choked as he began to cry. Not out of self pity, but the thought of the world not having Daisy in it.

Geoffrey walked in with an optimistic smile on his face with dissolved at the sight of Freddie in tears and Daisy looking like she was not far off from crying herself.

"Is this a bad time?" He asked looking from one to the other cautiously.

"No, no of course not, what isn't it uncle?" Daisy quickly regained her composure and shook herself out of her own slump.

"I was speaking to the boys and Freddie's parents. Under normal circumstances a suicide attempt would be treated quite seriously where therapy and a suicide watch lockdown would be necessary, however that would unfortunately bring a world of attention along with it"

Daisy looked on puzzled "ok so what happens?"

"Well, we thought that perhaps Freddie could...stay with you?" Geoffrey's voice became small as he made the suggestion.

"Me?!" Daisy asked shocked "but...I mean Diana and Rosie, I live with them, how would I?...."

"Oh I called Diana, she's happy to move in with Roger for the time being" It appeared that everything was settled already.

"Of course she said that" Daisy mumbled.

Freddie sat silently, feeling helpless and passed around.

"I feel like right now, being around you would help his recovery, it's the only reason I'm asking. Jer said she would obviously take him with her if you said no" Geoffrey's voice became sympathetic. He understood how hard the last year had been for Daisy and having Freddie around her would make the pain resurface.

"Yes. Yes he can come stay with me, I'll set up Diana's room for him, it's no problem" a part of Daisy felt relieved knowing that she would be with Freddie in her apartment, another part was terrified and the third felt guilt.

"I'll need to speak to Alex about taking some time away from work but it should be fine" she added.

"Actually, Diana asked you to call her about him, apparently he's been calling all morning"

"Right! Are his things moved in already too?" Daisy smiled at the ridiculousness of how quickly everything was being taken care of.

Geoffrey gave a shameful smile "Roger is taking care of it as we speak"