The Heart Wants What it Wants (Cameron Dallas) COMPLETED

Chapter 1- Don't

Boys. Nature's curse but also the gift given to this world. You know, those stupid, annoying, smelly, immature, funny, crazy, cute, adorable, hot boys... What would we do without them? Well, I wouldn't know. I've been stuck in this hospital bed, held down by skinny, anorexic chains made of depression for 3 years now. It keeps me from doing everything I've ever wanted to do. And yes. That includes boys. Never even came close to having a friendship, let alone a relationship with one.

My name is Brittany. I'm a 16 year old, severe anorexia patient who has literally nothing so I guess I'm pretty depressed. No mom, no dad, no brother, no sister, no friends, no boyfriend, no family. Just nobody. Literally. No one but a few nurses I see daily and a couple doctors that don't give two shits about your personal life. So them and my cat Emma. She's a 5 year old, grey tiger cat. She's the closest thing I have to love. I love her more than any breathing thing on this Earth. No one else loves me truly. I'm pretty positive, because the last time I heard those words were from my mom. Where is my family? Well my mom was in a car accident and died when I was 12, and my sister committed suicide after she found that out. Her name was Mandi. And after that happened, my brother and dad took off somewhere in the country. I don't know where. Last thing I remember is they left the hospital after one night to tell me what my sister has done. After that, they never came back.

And if you even start to feel bad for me. Don't. I'm sick of being treated as crippled. As a total hopeless freak. Because I'm not. I just don't eat. The only thing I eat everyday is 10 crackers at the most and 2 bottles of water. When they tell me they're about weigh me to see if I'm making progress, I use these small oval shaped weights under my hospital bed, by putting them in my pockets and shoes right before they take me to the scale. Every time they weigh me I add another pound to my pocket. They weigh me once a week. Usually Thursday's, which is today.

. . .

My phone goes off next to me on the side table. I pick it up and it's a Twitter notification that the hottest guy in the universe just sent out a tweet. Cameron Dallas.

Good morning guys! 😊

I replied back as quickly as possible.

@camerondallas Good morning my love 😞 I love you. 💕

I sit back a couple seconds as always, hovering my thumb over my notification button, but just like every other time... nothing. No new notification telling me he responded, retweeted, favorited, or even the best thing, followed. I'm so used to it, it's no longer a crazy disappointment.

"Don't worry, he'll notice you someday."

The nurse says as she walks into my room with my tray of food they continue to give me. She's the main nurse who 'takes care of me'. Her name is Natalie. I only call her Nurse Karper when the official, serious doctors are around, which is her last name if you couldn't figure that out.

"Yeah I'm sure." I say sarcastically and roll my eyes as she places the tray in front of me.

I get the best food in the hospital but it's not enough to get me to eat. For today's breakfast, it was shredded hashbrowns, a ham steak, and bacon. It smelled amazing if you were a normal person. But to me it was disgusting. Just the sight of it made me want to gag. But I won't budge anyways. All I can do is stare at it and mentally eat it. Hell, I even mentally reject it so what am I talking about.

"Can I have a knife to cut my ham?" I lie

She raises her eye brow at me with suspicion. "You know why you can't have a knife or anything sharp."

Dang.

Natalie walks over to the couch they have set up for me and sits there to pet Emma who's sleeping soundly, curled up into a ball.

My room was decorated to look like an actual teenager's room. I'm allowed to decorate and design it the way I want to since I live here. I have white, dangling, Christmas lights outlining the whole room. Also tons of posters and pictures of Cameron everywhere to work as wallpaper. I even have fancy bed sheets to make it look like a normal, everyday bed, instead of being a hospital bed. I had a desk and my laptop in the corner of the room that is surrounded by 2 huge windows that look out into the city of LA. I could even see the Hollywood sign when I looked out far. This is the closest I can get to being outside of the hospital. Sometimes I look out and just imagine a life where I have enough money where I can just enjoy life without a job. I could have normal friendships with people, a normal hobby of writing music and singing whenever I want, and a normal relationship. I wanted a boyfriend so badly. I was sick of watching the shows and movies flaunting about how great relationships are. I want to experience the love, the kindness, the mystery, the care, and even the heartbreak. I want to feel butterflies, I want to have that spark everytime I kiss him. I want to be able to tell someone anything and have them not judge me, I just want to live. Be free. But these fricken white walls prevent me from doing absolutely anything. It's been three years since I've stepped foot on a sidewalk or grass. The closest I can be to getting outside is when I go onto the roof of the hospital with Emma and my guitar and write songs and sing.

"Brittany!" I hear someone yell at me and I come back to Earth.

I look at the cause of he sound and see Natalie waving my attention over to her.

"What?"

"I said... When you're done at least attempting to eat, call for me to weigh you in."

"Okay."

She walks out of the room after she gives me a faint smile, probably trying to provoke me to eat but it wouldn't work. Nothing will ever work.

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A.N.: so what did you think of the first chapter? Comment!