3:38am
I'm beat.
I walk in the chilly night with my hands stuffed into my black trenchcoat's pockets.
Since I graduated from college, I've been working as an electrical engineer. Hard work equals good pay.
Mark still has his job at the restaurant but, he volunteers and counsels kids at the local elementary school. The school would love for him to become a counselor.
Mark always refuses the position. The thought of crushing those little kids' hearts with his disappearance, destroys him.
The thought of crushing anybody with his disappearance, destroys him.
I finally reach home after a thirty minute walk. I'm working on getting my license so I can take Mark on night drives. I could care less about walking home in the cold, Mark is more important.
After unlocking the door, I take off my shoes. The house is eerily quiet. That's when a weird feeling creeps into my mind...
"Mark?" I climb the stairs quickly as I call for Mark.
No response.
My worry takes the better of me and I barge into Mark's room. I turn on the lights and he doesn't even budge in the bed.
No.
I run to Mark and pull him off of his side.
He's paler than normal.
He's breathing, thank God, but he doesn't look too good. Scratch that. He looks terrible.
"Mark?"
Mark's eyes slowly flutter open. He smiles weakly.
"Hi Jackson." He speaks weakly. As if he's fighting the will to stay awake.
Instantly, I call the hospital and they send paramedics right away.
I comfort Mark as he lays in bed. Tears slowly roll from his eyes as I stroke his hair. I've never seen him this sick before.
"It hurts." He whispers lowly. His eyes never leave mine.
I squeeze his weak hand and I place a long, warm kiss on the back of his hand.
"I wish I could take your pain away."
Mark smiles.
The paramedics arrive and they quickly place Mark onto a gurney.
They allow me to sit in the back of the ambulance with Mark. We talk about our happy memories and nothing sad.
It makes Mark happy however, Mark's body fails to reciprocate such happiness.
Once we arrive at the hospital, Mark's eyes dilate and he begins to have a seizure. The doctors and nurses frantically wheel Mark into the hospital after his seizure.
There's nothing I can do to help him. I want to help so bad but....
How can I?
I have depression. Mark has a deadly disease. These are two different mediums of pain.
My pain could never compare to Mark's pain. His pain is physical; my pain is psychological. I can be cured with a comforting hug, he can only be cured by a miraculous drug.
Mark is the one who needs all the love he can get. Not me.
He's much more important.
He's much more worthy.
He's too precious and kind to replace.
Please Mark.
Don't leave me yet.
