11:07am
It's been almost two months since Mark left this world. Since he became an angel.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
I should be home staring at Mark's pictures, remembering his reactions, remembering his smile, his laughter, his beauty.
But, here I am. Staring at the woman that tried to kill me. The woman who beat me the most. The woman who's gave me incurable scars.
"Jackson." She smiles softly as she holds the phone to her ear. She places her hand on the glass divider separating us from each other.
I stare at her, the phone in my hand rests lazily against my ear.
"Look at you." Her eyes scan my face. "So handsome yet so sad."
I'm quiet.
"How have you been?"
My grip tightens on the phone.
"That's a dumb question, right?" She tucks a strand of her messy brunette hair behind her ear. She chuckles unsteadily.
"He died?"
I don't answer. However, my chest contorts.
She laughs bitterly.
"Wow. I-I can't believe it. It's like nothing works out for you."
She begins to cry.
She frowns deeply as she stares at me with tears streaming down her face.
"I'm so sorry, Jackson. I'm so damn sorry."
"You don't have to forgive me. You have every reason to hate me. But, hear me out." She begs with her eyes.
I nod my head.
"I just couldn't understand why you never talked. It was a mystery that no one could figure out. And then, you meet this boy and you miraculously start talking."
"I saw how much you loved him and saw how much he loved you. I watched all your interactions with each other. They warmed my heart." She wipes her eyes.
"To think that he'd be gone so soon, it breaks my heart. I thought you could live happily with the love of your life. I guess I was wrong."
She finally makes direct eye contact with me.
"Have you stopped talking?"
I don't respond.
"You can't stop talking. You're putting all of Mark's work to waste."
Again, I'm silent.
"You can't kill yourself, Jackson."
"You wanted me dead." I finally speak. My glare burns through the woman I haven't seen in a year.
"What I did was terrible. You wanted to die so badly, I was just giving you a helping hand."
"You should've shot better."
"Don't say that!" Her tears thicken.
"If you would've died, then you wouldn't have gotten so close to him. He wouldn't be there during the trial!"
"Don't say that stuff, Jackson. Would you want him to hear you say that?"
No.
No, not at all.
It would crush, Mark.
"Please don't kill yourself. I know your mind wants to end things but, fight your mind. Life is precious."
My aunt gazes at me gently.
"I learned something while I'm in here." She smiles softly. "I took my life for granted."
"Even though I'm locked behind these iron bars, I still remember your smiling face. It's something that will never tear from my mind. It's a memory that I will treasure."
"What I'm saying is, once you die, your memories die with you. Don't you want to remember him?"
I do, I want to remember everything about him.
I don't want to lose my memories of Mark.
His touch, his kisses, his voice, his laughter, his face, his beauty, his everything. Mark's everything.
I have no ambition to forget.
"Stay alive." My aunt nods her head. "Meet him in heaven when the time comes. Don't come to hell. That's my place to rot." She points to her chest.
"Don't you dare die on me, Jackson." My aunt lays her hand on the glass divider. "You're all I have left."
I rest my hand on the glass divider, over hers. She cries harder.
"Times up, Wang." A guard approachs her from behind.
"Could you visit me again?"
"Yes. Bye Aunt Mimi." I smile at her, wearily.
"Bye Jackson. Thank you." She smiles through her tears. I watch as the guard handcuffs her wrists behind her back.
She glances at me one last time before she disappears back into the prison.
I leave the prison with my head held a little high.
My memories will disappear...I never thought about it that way.
I'm sure they aren't gone when you die, you probably can't envision them. You probably can't touch your memories like you can when you're alive.
I promised Mark. And I'll keep my promise.
I'll stay alive.
So, I'll remember us.
Remember us forever.
