9:32pm
Time keeps ticking.
My fear keeps growing.
I stroke Mark's hair as he sleeps on my chest.
His heart beats abnormally slow. His body is burning with heat.
He has a fever.
Day by day, he gets sicker.
Fevers, colds, nose bleeds, vomiting blood, passing out. It's scary.
Just in this following week, Mark passed out twice everyday.
One minute he's fine and the next he's laying on the floor, unconscious. It's a sight my eyes can never forget.
Dr. Choi says Mark's brain can't apprehend what's going on with his stomach. His brain still receives the bodily message of hunger even though his stomach is literally failing.
The fruits and vegetables doesn't satisfy his brain. Mark's brain is practically starving for nutrients. In the end, he passes out due to the lack of nutrients.
I rub his back as he sleeps. My poor Mark.
Maybe the doctor's were right. Mark wasn't predicted to make it to Christmas yet here he is. Alive but practically dead.
I lay in silence as I listen to Mark's breathing.
Then his breath hitches.
His breathing stops.
I shoot up in bed and lift Mark up with me.
"Mark!" I shake him in my arms.
He gasps loudly and starts to cough. He wakes up and starts to breath heavily.
"Mark. Are you okay?" I cup his hot cheeks in my hands as he looks at me blankly.
"Jackson..." Mark grabs my arms weakly.
"I...can't breath..." Mark's body falls limp in my arms. He's breathing but it's faint.
Eerily faint.
I call Dr. Choi and he tells me to come to the hospital right away.
I race to the hospital. Fear seeps into my bones as I glance at Mark's unconscious body in my rear view mirror.
My legs carry myself and Mark into the hospital.
Dr. Choi rushes to me and places an oxygen mask over Mark's nose. Mark wakes up simultaneously and gasps for air.
Even with the oxygen mask on, it looks like Mark still can't breath.
Dr. Choi injects Mark with the high dosage medicine he once swore to never use again, but in this moment, it's all he's got.
Mark's breathing stabilizes and he drifts back off to sleep.
"Oh man." Dr. Choi scratches his head.
"His lungs...are they failing too?" I ask the doctor who's worked with Mark for years.
Dr. Choi looks at me grimly.
"I don't think he has long, Jackson."
"I know." I hug Mark's limp body and cry.
I cry the emotions I've been keeping riled up inside of me for the past month. Heavy, thick tears.
They shake my body as I rock Mark in my arms.
I'm scared.
I'm so scared of losing him.
