8:59pm
"Trick or treat!" Two little girls dressed in matching Elsa and Anna costumes stare up at me with their big, brown eyes. They hold up their Frozen designed bags.
Just before I can bend down and give them the handful of candy they expect, Mark jumps out from behind me.
"Boo!"
The little girls scream and run away from the door. But, they come back once they see Mark and I laughing.
"You scared us!" The little girl dressed as Elsa pouts.
"Your face!" The little girl dressed as Anna points at her friend and laughs.
I hand them their candy and they run off to collect more from our neighbors.
"Be safe!" Mark yells after them.
"Yes mister!" The girls wave and skip off.
"Kids are so cute." Mark smiles as we watch the children around our neighborhood running and laughing as they trick or treat.
"They are." I agree.
"I want kids." Mark shuts his eyes.
I look up at Mark from my crouched position. I watch as a single tear rolls down his pale cheek.
I stand and wrap my arm around his shoulders. I bring his body close to mine and I kiss his forehead.
"Don't cry mister!" A little boy dressed as spiderman looks up at Mark with big, doe eyes.
"Yeah! Don't cry!" More kids crowd our front yard as I hold Mark in my arms. They've come to like the bright, kindhearted man. So have I.
"They are your kids." I whisper into Mark's ears.
He smiles and looks at me sweetly.
"You're right."
Mark wipes his eyes. Then, he plays peek-a-boo with the children. They laugh and giggle with him.
Mark and I hand out all of our candy. Afterwards, we turn off the lights and go into the living room.
Mark was released from the hospital a couple days ago. The doctors want him to stay in bed but tonight he insisted on giving out candy. His love for children overpowers his physical weakness.
His love for children....
"I'm sorry." I apologize to Mark.
He looks at me confused. He's in the kitchen washing the large bowl we used to give out candy.
"For what?" Mark cocks his head to the side as he dries his hands with a paper towel.
"For being your love." I look down at the red rug underneath the couch.
"I can't give you children."
I hear his feet shuffle towards me. I'm engulfed with heat once Mark hugs me. He rests his head on my shoulder.
"Don't apologize for that. We don't have to have biological children." Mark smiles. "We can always adopt."
I look at Mark. He smiles.
"Adoption is something that I've always wanted to do." Mark smiles sadly. "Maybe in a next lifetime."
It's too late for us to adopt.
I grab Mark's hand.
"Don't apologize for being my love." Mark smiles as his loving gaze numbs me. "If it weren't for you, Jackson, I wouldn't be here."
"Thank you for being my love. Thank you for being my reason to fight. Thank you for existing, Jackson." Mark strokes my cheek as tears fill my eyes.
"You may think your life is unworthy, but that's not true." Mark grasps both of my hands in his.
"You mean so much to me, Jackson. Even if we can't have children, being with you makes me just as happy. Ever since I met you, I've been so happy."
Water drops onto our interlocked hands as I begin to cry.
"I'm your angel and you're my hero. See? We saved each other. I'll always be your angel through life and death. And you'll always be my hero through life and death."
"I love you." My face contorts as my tears thicken and a strangled noise breaks through my throat.
"I love you." Mark hugs me, my face landing onto his shoulder as I cry.
My arms tighten around Mark's body and his slender arms tighten around my neck.
I love him. He's so kind. So remarkably beautiful and warm, it's unbelievable. It's hard to believe that someone can be so amazing. It's hard to believe that I'm loved.
I shouldn't be apologizing.
I should be thanking him. Thanking him like I've always been doing.
Thank you, Mark. Thank you for being there for me.
Thank you for making me feel important.
Thank you for letting me make your last moments happy.
Thank you.
