10:10am
"Oppa!"
Small arms wrap around my torso.
"Good morning Sana." I bend down to the little girl who bears a large scar on her face.
"Mornin'!" She chirps.
Reminds me of Mark...
"Where's Mark hyung?" Dong Joon, or DJ, situates himself on top of my lap.
"He's resting at home." I lie.
In actuality, he's in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. He's having unknown dreams in his induced coma.
"He'll be back, right?" Somi, a seven-year old girl with cute piggy tails, looks at me with worrisome eyes.
It takes all the strength in me to tell her 'yes'. I don't even know if he can wake back up. I'm just as worried as the kids.
I change the subject by reaching into my duffelbag and pulling out a bouquet of red roses.
"Happy Valentine's day." I smile at the lost children.
Their eyes beam with joy as they attack me with hugs and thanks. Mark would love what I'm doing. Giving a special day to his favorite kids...
I promised I'll continue to make them happy.
But, I wish I were happy.
I stare at Mark in his hospital bed.
The oxygen mask fogs as he breaths, his black hair is sprawled across his clear forehead, multiple tubes run out of his arms into IV bags.
I can't see his gorgeous brown eyes but, I can admire his long eyelashes. I can admire his deathly pale skin; he's beautiful. Even sick like he is.
I haven't heard his voice in three weeks. It's torture.
If I can't handle him in this coma...good God. How can I handle when he's....gone?
Silent tears fall from my eyes.
That crushing pain fills my chest.
I don't want to lose him.
"He should wake up soon." Dr. Choi rubs my shoulder. "No. He will wake up."
I turn to the doctor.
"He can't leave without a proper goodbye." Dr. Choi looks at Mark.
My feet drag themselves to Mark's bedside. As I kneel beside the bed, I grab his cold hand and press my lips against the cold skin.
"I love you." I close my eyes and pray.
Mark's hand twitches in my grasp.
My eyes shoot open. They lay on Mark's face as his eyes open.
He stares at me with his hooded eyes. Even in a daze, his eyes shimmer and gleam, embracing their beauty.
He can't speak nor can he smile, but his stare is enough for me to understand.
His eyes shut again. His hand falls from my grip and lays limply on the white sheets.
I would've thought he died right then and there if I hadn't seen the fog of his breath cloud the oxygen mask, or hear the beeping of the heart monitor.
More tears fall from my eyes as I watch Mark return to his sleep.
"Time is numbers. Memories are images of the past. Time is waning, memories are growing. Keep making those memories, Jackson. Make memories until the time runs out." Dr. Choi pats my head and he exits the room.
His words sink into my aching heart.
I cry that entire night holding Mark's cold, almost lifeless, hand.
Memories...
I'll try my damndest to make as many memories as possible.
So Mark...
Please wake up.
