1:22pm
"Yo Jackson!"
I turn to see my coworker running towards me.
"Hey." I smile as he puts me in a playful chokehold.
"Did you miss me?" He smiles, making his dimples appear.
"Nope." I joke. He punches my arm and we share a laugh.
My coworker's name is Kim Namjoon. He's a funny yet serious man. A genius and the first genuine friend that I've made after Mark.
He's a good man.
"Did you enjoy your vacation?" I ask as we walk to the supplies warehouse.
"It was great! I finally proposed to my girl." Namjoon grabs my arm and shakes me.
Proposed...
Ah...I wish I could do that.
To marry Mark. That'd be wonderful.
But the pain...the pain would kill both of us.
"Congratulations." I clap my hands.
"Thank you. Thank you." He bows like a gentleman.
"Wait until the divorce." Another one of my coworkers interrupts Namjoon's show.
"Jinyoung, you are evil!"
I laugh at the two as they argue. Soon, our boss comes to order us about a plant that needs more maintenance.
"So, Jackson. How are you?" Jinyoung asks as we fix the broken wires for the electricity of a water plant.
"I'm okay."
"Are you sure? You've been kind of dazed lately."
"Lot of stuff on my mind." I take off my gloves once I finish rewiring my set of wires.
"Like what?" Jinyoung asks.
"I...can't really tell you..." My eyes meet with the floor.
"You can tell us." Namjoon wraps his arm around my shoulders. "We're your friends."
My friends.
For the first time in twenty-two years, I have friends. People like me. People talk to me.
All because I met Mark.
My therapist always told me that it'd be better to vent. I know Mark vents to me but I can't vent to him.
It'll hurt him. I don't want to hurt him. Never do I ever, want to hurt him.
So, I tell them.
I tell Namjoon and Jinyoung. My friends.
Their faces become serious. Their eyes bear sympathy. Their comforting makes me feel less terrible.
Once I finish, the two of them embrace me. It's a comforting hug. A hug to tell me to keep pushing forward. A hug to tell me that they're here for me.
"I think you should propose." Namjoon squeezes my shoulder.
"Not in marriage." Jinyoung clarifies. "Give him something that he can hold. Something that can never leave him. Not in marriage. Something else."
Jinyoung understands. I can't tear Mark apart.
"A promise ring." Namjoon suggests.
"A promise ring?" I never thought of it.
"Yeah. That would be good. Give him a promise ring so it can never leave his finger. Even..." Jinyoung trails off and looks to the ground.
"I'm gonna cry." Namjoon sniffles.
"You say that Mark is strong but you're just as strong, Jackson." Namjoon looks me in my eyes.
"Both of you are warriors and y'all are fighting a battle of life and death. I'm sure we know who the victor is, but keep fighting. Don't give up."
"Give it your all." Jinyoung smiles.
Namjoon smiles too.
"Thank you." I can't help my tears. I've never been cheered on by someone other than Mark.
"No. Thank you for telling us." Jinyoung pats my shoulder.
"Damn!" Namjoon bursts into tears.
Jinyoung stares at him. Eventually, tears fall from his own eyes.
"You have it rough, Jackson." He cries.
It's my turn to comfort them.
I pat their backs as they cry for my sorrow.
Thank you for this. Thank you my friends.
I appreciate it.
