1:15pm
Normally on Saturdays I work at the cafè, but today is my day off. Or you could say a day my aunt doesn't need me there.
My college is closed for summer break and I rather stand on my feet for ten hours than just sit at home.
So, here I am. In the park, sitting under a large tree with a book about self-esteem in my grasp. My therapist wants me to read it since I'm neglected of any type of self-esteem and self-love.
I don't really love anything.
Reading the book is relaxing underneath the summer sun. I'm still wearing a hoodie even if it's hot, I refuse to show my disgusting body.
I watch the little kids playing with each other and the adults conversing with each other.
I know I'm quiet and I don't speak but, I've always wanted to have friends. I wanted someone to laugh with and hang out with. I wanted a loving family.
I want to be loved. I want to love.
"Don't do that!" A little girl giggles as kids chase her around the park.
I want that. That fun. That livelihood.
But, I'm all alone.
It's warm outside but cold in my heart. I'm only a couple feet away from these kids yet I feel like I'm on a deserted island far from civilization.
I'm surrounded by the sea of hate and disgust that's slowly eroding the island away until I'm left with nothing. I hope the island erodes away faster, my fight for survival is decaying by the minute.
The wind blows my mop of a hair more into my face. Fun.
"Woah!"
I crane my head to the left of the tree.
"Is that you Jackson?" Mark peeks his head around the tree, that radiant smile plastered on his face.
"What are you doing here?" Mark sits down beside me.
My heartbeat begins to raise. No one has ever sat this close to me before, not in this close proximity. Not with this friendly atmosphere.
I tap my book to answer his question.
"Ohhh. A book? You like reading like this too?" He beams.
I nod my head.
"Awesome!" He smiles.
"Yo Mark!" A group of other boys call for the cheery boy.
"Go on ahead! I'm coming!" Mark yells to them. He turns back to me with a big smile.
"I missed you this morning at the cafè." Mark pouts as he hugs his slim legs. I've never realized how skinny and small he is until now.
He missed me? My heart pangs from those words. My eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"I'm not lying. I missed you a lot." He smiles softly.
I avert my eyes to the ground. I'm lost for words. Literally and figuratively.
"Nooo! Look at me!" He whines.
I stare at him and his pout instantly disappears.
"There we go! Your eyes are so pretty! I'm sad when you don't look at me." He smiles.
Pretty?
"Mark!" His friends bark. Mark sighs in defeat.
"Next time you aren't at the cafè, I'll come here." Mark rises and dusts his pants off.
"Seeya Jackson!" He waves goodbye.
I wave goodbye too.
He claps and cheers after getting my response. I watch him run over to his friends and he steals a glance at me one more time before he disappears into the distance.
I don't understand why he's so kind to me or why he insists on talking to me everytime we meet but I sure can say his greetings are the highlights of my week.
Mark is so sweet ^^
