Another World | ✔️

Chapter One

Trigger Warnings
Anxiety
Therapy
Rehab
Drugs

🌳 🌳 🌳

Who knows. Maybe we could have been friends in another world. . .

Dear Evan Hansen,
     It turns out today isn't going to be a great day. It isn't going to be a great year.

     School sucks. Life sucks.

     Even Mom isn't around for me anymore. Between work and school, I don't even see her anymore.

    If only things were different.

          Sincerely,
          Me

I push print and swivel around in my chair. The computer lab is still seemingly empty. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, it being the first day of school. It's not like anyone else has homework. No one normal.

Oh right, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Evan Hansen, and today is the first day of my senior year of high school. Already, it's been awful. Ever since lunch, anyway. That's when he pushed me.

Connor Murphy. That one strange kid that looks like he might shoot up the school someday. I got in his way and he decided to push me. I guess I don't blame him. Who wouldn't? I'm just that awkward, anxious kid that no one knows.

"Evan, right?"

She knew my name. She actually knew my name. Zoe Freaking Murphy. I see her every day and her positive energy is what keeps me going, but she had never spoke to me before now. Turns out, Connor is her brother, and she felt the need to clean up his mess after he pushed me. I freaked out. Big time. For some reason, I laid there on the floor. Just like when I fell from the tree.

Just waiting.

Any minute now.

"So, do you like laying on the floor?"

Crap.

I flash back to the present as a familiar black jacket comes into view. Just ahead of me is Connor Murphy, pulling a paper from the printer. My paper. Again, my heart starts pounding. Why did I not notice that he was in here? I should have been more careful.

"I assume this is yours?" Connor says.

I stand there for a minute, confused. What does he want with me? Does he know that I like Zoe? Is he going to push me again? No. He hands me my paper and slips his hands in his pockets. "So, what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your arm. What happened to your arm?"

"Oh, this," I look down at my cast, still bearing no signatures. I think Mom's idea was a bust. It's high school, who signs casts anymore? Besides, I'm not cool.

"You see, I was an apprentice park ranger over the summer so I spent a lot of time at Ellison Park. I— I saw this huge oak tree and just started climbing it, but then. . . I just fell. I laid there forever just waiting. Waiting. Any minute now. No one came."

Connor snorted slightly as I told the story again. Amusement briefly shines in his dark eyes as he struggles not to laugh. "You could've at least lied. That's so lame."

"Ha, yeah, I guess so."

"Hey, do you have a sharpie?"

Oh no. He wants to sign my cast. For some reason I can't explain, I start reaching into my backpack, fishing for the sharpie Mom gave me this morning. As I find it, I retrieve it and reach it to Connor. He smiles and grabs my arm, writing his name in big letters.

C O N N O R

"There," he says. "Now we can both pretend we have friends."

As he gives me the sharpie back, he continues. "So, what's that paper for? Some secret love letter?"

"No, it—"

Do I tell him the truth? That I'm broken and have to go talk to Dr. Sherman to keep my sanity. That I rely on a bottle of pills to keep myself from breaking down on a daily basis. That I write letters to myself to try to build confidence. What if he tells Zoe? Why would he tell Zoe, they don't even seem close. He wouldn't tell anyone else, he doesn't have any friends. Who would care anyway?

"It's just an assignment for my therapist," I say quietly, slipping the paper, along with the sharpie, into my bag. There's a certain darkness in Connor's eyes as I say this. He frowns slightly. Is that. . . Concern? I knew Connor has probably been to therapists before. Not like Dr. Sherman, but rehab therapists. Everyone says he was kicked out of Hanover for drugs. I don't know if it's true, but it isn't hard to believe. But why would he care if a nobody like me has issues? He doesn't even know me.

"Are you busy after school?"

Connor's question takes me by surprise. No one has ever asked this of me before. Except Jared, and that's only when his parents forced him to ask. He never actually wanted me to come over. He's just a family friend, after all.

I think for a moment. I'm supposed to see Dr. Sherman after school, but Mom would never know if I didn't show up. She's too busy with work to care, really. What would it hurt to see what Connor wants? Maybe he's secretly asking for Zoe. Maybe she wants me to go for a ride with her in her blue Volvo.

"No, I'm not busy. Not at all."

"Meet me at Ellison Park at five."

"Wait, what?" The words slip out faster than I can stop them. I wanted to make friends, didn't I? Why should I stop just because it's Connor? What if he's actually a good guy?

"You said you're not busy," Connor says with a shrug. "And neither do I. So, do you want to hang out or just go sit in your room?"

"I-I'll be there."