Another World | ✔️

Chapter Twenty-Five

Trigger Warnings
Depression
Suicide
Self-Harm

🕸 🕸 🕸

"Connor?"

I look up and see Zoe standing in my doorway. She has a worried expression on her face. I'm surprised when she walks over and sits next to me on my bed. Just a month ago she never would have stepped foot in my room, but we've started to get along better recently, especially since she learned the truth about my mental health. "What's wrong?"

Zoe closes her eyes as I place my hand on her shoulder. She flinches at first, but quickly relaxes. "Evan's not okay, is he?" she asks quietly.

"I don't think so, Zoe," I say with a sigh. I hate admitting that, but I know that it's true. While he was over this evening he played the part well, but we could both tell that something was wrong. He was much quieter than usual, not saying much unless one of us spoke first. He would smile, but it wasn't his usual, bright smile. It was a fake smile; one that proves that there's something to hide.

"You don't think. . . You don't think he. . . He. . ."

I know what Zoe is thinking, and as she struggles to say it, tears start welling in the corners of her eyes. I want to cry too, but I don't dare let a tear fall in front of her.

"I don't know. . . I hope that he doesn't think of that again, but. . ."

"You think he's going to, don't you," she cries, looking up at me with sad eyes. "You think he's going to hurt himself."

"I'm sorry, Zoe. I just. . . When you've been through it you can recognize the signs. I can't be sure, but it scares me. That's why I asked him to come over. I don't want him to be alone."

I'm surprised when Zoe leans into me, but I wrap myself around her. She's crying more now, and I rub her back gently. "What if he does," she whispers. "What if we can't stop him?"

"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that," I murmur. "Let's just. . . Try to find a way to make him happy, okay? Show him that we care and give him some reason to stay. That's all we can really do right now."

"I just hope that's enough," she breathes, closing her eyes again, her head on my chest.

"Me too. . ."

There's a pause and Zoe leans away, looking up at me. "Connor. . . I. . . I'm sorry."

"What? Why are you sorry?"

"I never realized that you were hurting. I just. . . I thought you hated me. I. . . I thought you wanted to kill me. I-I should've realized that something was wrong. I-I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay," I whisper, pulling her close again. "I'm sorry that I ever hurt you. I. . . I love you, Sis. I never hated you I just. . . I lost control. . ."

Zoe is quiet for a moment, and I'm worried that I've said something wrong. Have I messed up and broken what little bond we have? No. She's not pulling away from me. She's just thinking.

"Can we maybe start over?" she asks quietly.

"If you want. I. . . I understand if you hate me. You have good reason to."

"I don't hate you, Connor," she says. "It's just complicated."

"I know. I understand," I murmur. "Just. . . I'm always here for you. Please don't ever take the same path that I did. It would kill me to lose you like that."

"Thanks. . . And same for you, okay?" She grabs my arm gently and pushes up my sleeve, rubbing my scars. "I don't want you to hurt yourself. . ."

I flinch as Zoe touches each scar as if she's counting them. She stops for a moment on one of the newest, closing her eyes.

"Even when the dark comes crashing through
When you need someone to carry you
When you're broken on the ground
You will be found. . ."

Zoe sings the words softly, not opening her eyes for a moment. Her voice is so soft, so beautiful. I've heard her sing so many times before, but I've never really paid much attention or really stopped to appreciate it. Now, when the words are so meaningful, I let myself listen, relaxing at the last line.

"You will be found. . ."

"Thank you, Zoe," I say quietly, barely loud enough for her to hear. "I really needed that."

"There's no need to thank me," she whispers. "I'm just glad that you're here."

"There's a place where you don't have to feel unknown
And every time that you call out
You're a little less alone
If you only say the word
From across the silence
Your voice is heard."

I close my eyes, hearing the words and listening to them. I only hope that somehow Evan heard these same words and knows that it's true. I didn't believe it at first, either, but now I'm starting to see. Maybe, just maybe, he will see this too before it's too late.