Another World | ✔️

Chapter Fourteen

Trigger Warnings
Medication
Anxiety
Therapy
Drugs
Rehab

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I yawn slightly as I wake up, turning over and almost falling out of Evan's bed. I clutch the mattress quickly, pulling myself closer to him. He's still asleep, his broken arm hanging awkwardly to the side.

I smile softly, laying my arm across him, not caring in my half-conscious state that's he may wake up and notice. I can always tell him that I did it in my sleep. He's so innocent that he would believe it.

The night had been great. We stayed up late watching movies on his laptop, talking about our pasts. He learned that I like guys and girls, I learned that he likes Zoe. (He didn't tell me, I just know.) I wasn't so sure about it at first, but after this I don't think I have to worry about him using me. It just doesn't seem like something he would do.

I giggle softly as I feel Evan twist beside me, turning onto his back and tilting his head towards me. "How long have you been awake?" he asks sleepily.

"Just a minute," I tell him. "Don't worry, you didn't snore."

Evan smiles and closes his eyes once again. I boop him lightly on the nose and he opens them again. "Sleepyhead," I whisper.

He bats at me lightly before sitting up and stretching. I sit up beside him, rubbing my eyes. It feels like weeks have passed since the last time I slept so well. I guess just not being alone helped. I guess maybe I'm finally at peace with myself. Somewhat, at least.

"Dear Evan Hansen, today is going to be a good day and here's why."

I glance over at Evan as he speaks these words in a silly tone, making funny faces as he continues. "Because today you get to hang out with your best friend and there's no school because it's Saturday!"

I chuckle slightly, feeling my face grow hot as he refers to me as his best friend. I remember the first day of school when I read his letter and he called himself his "best and most dearest friend." In just a week that has changed.

"Sincerely, me."

"Why do you write those, by the way?" I ask. I notice that he opens a drawer and takes out an orange bottle half-filled with pills. He takes one out and quickly takes one before putting the bottle back. At first I feel worry strike me, but then I'm able to put two and two together. "It's anxiety related, isn't it?"

Evan nods and looks over at me. "It's for my therapist," he explains. "That's where I was when you texted me. He has me write letters to myself. They're supposed to be pep talks, but they don't always end up that way. That's what the pills are for too. It kinda sucks."

"How long. . ?"

"I'll probably always have to," he shrugs. "I can't really function without the medicine. It's just all too much. Sometimes I can hardly function with it. Some days are worse than others."

"I'm sorry," I murmur, looking down at my wrists. I know that I have my own problems, but it hurts to know that he has to go through this. I deserve it, but he doesn't. He's never hurt anyone. Why him?

"Hey, don't worry about it," he says. "Maybe it will get better soon. Besides, it could always be worse."

"You still don't deserve that."

"I mean, no one does," he replies. "It's not anyone's fault though."

I guess he's right. It's not like anyone gets to pick and choose who deals with mental illness. At least he understand that.

Time and time again I get told that I'm too wealthy to have issues. My life is too good to be ruined by drugs. My parents can afford the best, why do I still act like this? It only got worse after rehab. I shudder at the thought, and I see Evan glance at me, worry in his eyes. "You good?"

"Yeah, fine. Just thinking."

"So. . ." Evan trailed off, looking deep in thought for a moment. "What are we doing today?"

"Well. . ." I thought for a moment. Suddenly, I remember something. The orchard. I had wanted to show him the orchard, but then. . . Then the pills fell out of my pocket. I had to get away. I couldn't face him after that, but now, maybe we could go. "You remember that run down orchard I showed you?"

Evan nods slightly, a curious look on his face. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Maybe we could go there, unless you have any other ideas?"

"No, I hadn't thought of anything," he says. "We can go if you want. It sounds like a nice idea to me."

"Then let's go," I say with a smile. "It's supposed to be nice out today."

"Alright. Let's go. . ."