Another World | ✔️

Chapter Thirty

Trigger Warnings
Suicide
Depression

✨ ✨ ✨

I'm trying my best to get through the rest of the school day. What Connor told me keeps burning in my mind. I want to believe that everything is okay, but I can't be sure. Connor never said that Evan is even still alive, and that scares me.

The day seems to drag by. Minutes turn into hours as I wait for the final bell. I've never been more ready to run out of the school in my life, not even on my worst days. Now, as the bell sounds through the speakers, I grab my stuff and take off running. I'm sure my classmates must think I'm crazy, but I don't care. That doesn't matter right now.

When I get in the car, I call Mom. When she answers, her voice sounds tired. "Hey, Zoe," she answers. "Are you okay, Love?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I sigh. "Just worried. Where are you?"

"We're in the third floor waiting area right now. If you want to come by I can show you where his room is, but don't feel like you have to come."

"I'm coming," I say firmly as I pull onto the highway and head towards the hospital. I'm not sure if I can stand to see him right now, but I want to see that he's living and breathing. I want to see for myself that he's alive. And I want to be there for Connor. He seemed so scattered. . .

"Okay. Please be careful, ZoZo. I love you."

"Love you too," I say quietly before hanging up, tossing my phone in the passenger seat. I pick up speed now, driving faster than I ever have. It scares me to go this fast, memories of Connor's wreck filling my mind, but I can't slow myself until I pull into the parking lot.

It's quiet inside except for a few whispers and the distant beeping of machines. I pass by the front desk and head straight to the elevator. When I reach the third floor, I look both ways. I see the waiting area and walk that way. When Connor sees me, he jumps up and hugs me. I'm surprised and can see a shocked look on Mom's face, but I hug him back tightly.

When he lets go, Mom comes over and hugs me too. "Do you want to go see him?"

I nod slightly, glancing towards Connor. I expect him to come with me, but he shakes his head. I guess that he wants some time alone.

Mom leads me down the hall to a room and stands back to let me go inside. I take a shaky breath before knocking on the door. I hear Evan's mom invite me in, and I walk in quietly. "H-hey."

Heidi looks up and smiles weakly. She stands and walks over to me offering a hug. "I thought you might come," she says quietly.

She steps aside so that I can see past her, and I can't stop myself from bringing my hands to my face and covering my mouth. "I-I'm sorry," I whisper. "I-I just—"

"It's okay," she murmurs. "I know it's hard to see."

For a moment I just stand there, shaking my head. Tears are starting to stream down my face now. I can't stop them. I walk over slowly, letting my hand brush his. "Evan. . ."

"He wanted me to tell you that he thinks you're wonderful. He said that you have a beautiful voice," I hear Heidi say. Her voice is cracking as she speaks, and I understand immediately when he said this. There's a folded paper lying on the bedside table, but I don't dare touch it.

"He came with Connor to listen to me sing a couple weeks ago," I murmur. I let a small laugh escape my mouth. "He wouldn't stop blushing when I looked at him."

Heidi smiles slightly and walks over to me, resting a hand on my shoulder and the other on Evan's. "Why don't you sing for him now?" she asks. "If. . . If you're up for it."

I blink up at her, uncertain for a moment. I'm not sure that I'm able to hit the notes right now, but I can see a yearning in her eyes. She wants to hear the song that made her son smile. She needs to hear it. So I take a shaky breath before starting.

"I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you
I don't need you to search for the proof that I should
You don't have to convince me
You don't have to be scared you're not enough
'Cause what we've got going is good

I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken
I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget
Clear the slate and start over
Try to quiet the noises in your head
We can't compete with all that."

I pause for a moment, wiping the tears from my eyes. I can't look away as I listen to the words I'm singing. I remember what Connor showed me. I remember the message in which he said that he loves me. He just couldn't tell me before. . .

"So what if it's us?
What if it's us
And only us
And what came before won't count anymore or matter?
Can we try that?

What if it's you
And what if it's me
And what if that's all that we need it to be
And the rest of the world falls away?
What do you say?"