Another World | ✔️

Chapter Thirty-Two

Trigger Warnings
Suicide
Depression

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The ride back to the school is quiet. Jared hardly says a word the whole time. I know he's having a hard time, but it just doesn't make things any easier. His words keep ringing through my head.

"Jared?"

"What. . ."

"It's okay if you don't want to, but if you need to talk. . ."

"I'm scared."

"Hm?"

"I'm scared, Alana. I'm really scared."

As we pull into the near-empty parking lot, I stop next to the car I know is Jared's. When we stop, I sigh and look over at him. "I know, Jared," I say gently. "I'm scared too."

"Do you think he'll be okay. . ? Honestly. . ?"

I close my eyes, thinking for a moment. The truth is, I don't know, but I don't want Jared to know that. He's already hurting so much, so I decide to twist it a bit. I think that I need to hear it too. I just want to believe it.

"I think he will," I say quietly. "It just may take a little time. Meanwhile, we should just try to stay strong. It's what he would want."

Jared just shakes his head. "I know I shouldn't, but I did some research," he starts. "Connor said that he overdosed on his anxiety medicine. I've been looking at the details and just. . . It doesn't look good." He pulls up a list on his phone and shows me. "Even if he does make it, they cause comatose. How long is he going to be out of it if he does survive? What if there are complications there and he's not the same or he ends up dying because of them."

As Jared stops to take a breath, I rest my hand on his leg. "Jared, it's only been a few hours. You just have to give him a little time. Mrs. Hansen is holding onto hope that he'll be okay, you can too."

Jared is quiet for a minute before looking up at me. "Sorry, Alana," he says quietly. "I just don't know what to do."

"Just, hope and pray that he'll be okay. I'm sure that things will start looking better tomorrow."

"I'll try. . ." he murmurs. "Thanks for the ride, by the way."

"Don't thank me," I reply as he unbuckles and opens the door. "Are you okay to drive home? I can take you if you want. I know you're upset."

"I'll be fine," he says. "I'll let you know when I make it." Jared pauses and smiles weakly before frowning again. "Don't worry if I'm not at school tomorrow. I think I may just sleep in."

"Alright," I nod. "If you need anything, just let me know, okay? I'm always here."

"Thanks, Alana. I appreciate it."

Without another word, he steps out of the car and shuts the door behind him. I wait until he starts his car and pulls out to leave, giving myself a moment to think about the situation.

Evan Hansen is in the hospital after a suicide attempt. He felt so alone that he couldn't take it anymore. He thought that it would be better if he was gone. They don't know yet if he's going to make it or not. If he doesn't, he will die believing that no one cared. He thought that it would be okay if he disappeared.

No one deserves to disappear. . .

I shake my head and pull out, driving slow as I head home. So far, I haven't cried. I don't want to start now. That's not like me. I'm always the optimist. Someone has to be.

When I get home, Mom is sitting on the couch watching tv. She looks up as I come in, frowning slightly. "You were out late."

I shrug and move to the kitchen, taking out a can and opening it up. I normally don't drink anything but water or milk, but it's been a long day. One coke isn't going to hurt anything.

"What's wrong, LaLa?"

"My friend tried to kill himself. I've been at the hospital. I took another friend and we went to see him."

"Oh, gosh," Mom says quietly. "You should have called and let me know. I could've come and picked you up. How are you handling it?"

"I'll be fine, Mom, really," I say, smiling softly. "I just don't really want to talk about it right now. I'm sorry I'm late getting home, I hope you understand. Now, I have some homework—"

"I understand, but are you sure you're okay? You can stay home tomorrow if you want. Don't worry about doing your homework tonight. You need to get some rest."

"No thanks," I say quickly. "I don't want to spoil my attendance record. Besides, it will help keep my mind off of it."

"If you're sure. If you change your mind, though, that's completely fine. Just let me know, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Mom."

Without another word, I rush to my room. I'm just ready for this day to be over.