Another World | ✔️

Chapter Thirty-Five

Trigger Warnings
Suicide
Depression

🌳 🌳 🌳

I take slow, deep breaths as the nurse listens. Her face shows no clues to what she is thinking, but when she takes the stethoscope and drapes it over her shoulders she pats me gently. "You're recovering," she says with a small smile.

I return the smile before watching her walk away. Connor is still here, but he's quiet now. The whole time the nurse was in he was typing on his phone. It doesn't bother me, but I'm curious as to who he's texting.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Zoe," Connor says quickly, his face growing red. "She texted as soon as she got out of school to ask how you're doing."

"Is she coming?" I find myself asking. Connor says she has been here the past two days to visit. It still surprises me, but I believe him.

"She has jazz band practice this evening," he says. "She said she would come by after if it doesn't hold too late, but if you want to see her. . ."

"No, it's okay," I say. "I was just wondering."

I reach down and fish for my phone, pulling it out of my pocket. I hold the button to turn it on, and after a minute several texts appear on my screen.

Alana:  We miss you, Evan. We're all thinking of you.

Jared:  I'm sorry.

Zoe:  Please be okay.

Jared:  Waiting for you to wake up is hard. Especially not knowing that you might not. . .

Alana:  You're not alone.

Zoe:  I miss talking to you.

There's even a text from the oldest of my half-sisters in Colorado.

Holly:  I know we're not close, but I love you.

I can feel tears gathering in my eyes. They actually care. . . Or, they're pretending that they do at least.

"Evan? You okay. . ?"

I look at Connor, my eyes bleary. "I'm okay," I breathe. "I just. . . I'm just reading my texts. I. . . I didn't realize anyone cared. . ."

Connor sits up and comes over to me. I blink up at him and let my arms reach out. He gives me a hug, and I let myself cry. We stay like this until Connor's phone starts to ring. "That's Mom. Will you be okay if I step out?"

"Yeah, go on," I tell him.

He nods and steps out of the room, answering his phone. As he does, I open my phone and try to text everyone back. Most are short, simple messages. It's hard to know what to say. I can't just abruptly say "Hey, I'm awake."

Mom:  I love you.

Jared:  Hey.

Alana:  Thanks.

Zoe:  I will be.

Holly:  Love you, Sis.

Jared is the first to reply.

Evan?
You
You're aWAKE?!

Yeah.
I'm awake.

I'm coming.

You don't have to.

I'm. Coming.

Jared.

There's no reply. I shake my head and force myself to straighten up. My chest still aches, but strength is returning to my arms and legs.

"Hey, I said don't push yourself," Connor says as he walks back in.

"I'm fine, Connor, really," I say. I continue before he can reply. "Jared is on his way. I tried to get him not to, but he wouldn't listen."

Connor frowns slightly. "He's been worried sick," he says. "He hasn't went back to school either."

"Either?"

"I haven't gone back," Connor says quietly. "I couldn't. I. . . I've been too worried too. It's been hard to focus on anything."

I sigh softly and close my eyes. "You shouldn't have worried about me. None of you should've."

"Why wouldn't we? We care, Evan."

Again, I fall silent. I don't know what else to say, and I say nothing until Jared gets there. I'm surprised when he rushes in without knocking and nearly tackles me. "Don't do that again. Don't ever do that again," he says, his voice shaking. I'm even more shocked when Jared pulls away and I see tears streaming down his face.

"D-don't cry over me. . ."

"I thought you were dead, Evan," he cries. "I-I thought I wouldn't get to say that I'm sorry. I-I thought. . . I-I was afraid that you hate me. . . Th-that you think I hate you. I-I. . ."

"I-I don't hate you, Jared."

"You should," he says quietly. "I. . . I'm sorry for everything I said. Th-that we weren't friends. I— you are my friend. You're my only friend. . ."

I close my eyes for a moment, unsure what to say. What Jared has said before hurts me, but I can tell that he's serious now. I. . . I've never seen him cry before. Not from anything from physical pain, and that was when we were kids.

"If. . . You don't have to pretend. I-I'm not saying y-you are but if you are y-you don't have to."

"I'm not pretending," he says, his eyes wide. "I'm sorry."

"Let's just. . . Let's just start over."

Jared nods slightly and reaches down to hug me again. "I-I'm glad you're okay," he says quietly.

"I'm glad you care. . . Both of you. . ."

Both Jared and Connor smile faintly and I yawn softly.

"You should get some rest," Connor insists. "You still. . . You need it. . ."