Another World | ✔️

Chapter Thirty-One

Trigger Warnings
Suicide
Depression

💻 💻 💻

I'm sorry.

I look at the unopened text once more. With each passing moment I wish I had sent it before. Now, I can't help but wonder if it's too late. I desperately want to drive to the hospital now, but I worry that he wouldn't want me to.

Why would he want me to? He wouldn't want to see me. Not after the way I've treated him.

But at the same time, I see the message from Alana that I still haven't replied to.

I know you're hurting.
I'm here for you. I can
drive you there after
school if you want. Just
let me know.

I don't have much time left to decide. I've already texted Mom and she said we would go by tomorrow if we can, but I worry that tomorrow might be too late. I could hear Heidi and Connor's conversation, and it didn't sound too promising.

What would he think if I never showed up? He would really think I don't care then. . .

Sorry for not answering.
I would like that, thanks.
You don't have to
though. I'm okay to
drive.

I insist.
Besides, I'm kinda
wanting to visit too.
I know we weren't
really close but. . .
The fact he
mentioned me. . .

My mind flashes back to the message that Connor showed me. He mentioned both me and Alana, and I understand why she wants to go and visit.

Okay.
I'll come with you.

Only half an hour later, I'm waiting in the lobby for Alana. She smiles softly when she sees me, and I struggle to smile back. I wonder just how much she knows about Evan and I. Does she know that we've grown farther apart this year? Or does she still remember when we were so close?

"Are you ready?"

"I think so," I grunt. "Are you?"

"I hope."

Without another word, Alana leads the way to her car and then drives us to the hospital. I let her do the talking when we get there, but I keep a mental note of the room number. We both thank the receptionist before walking to the elevator and heading to the third floor.

When we find the room, there is conversation inside. We quietly decide to wait, and enter only after a doctor exits. He nods to us, but says nothing.

"W-wait," I say, stopping him in his tracks. I don't want Heidi to have to answer my question. I know that today has been hard enough for her already. "Is he. . . Will he be okay?"

The doctor glances back towards the door before looking at us. "He's lucky to still be alive right now," he tells us quietly. "We just almost lost him. . ."

I feel my hands shaking as the words hit my ears. He starts to speak again, but I race inside without waiting to listen. Heidi looks up, a surprised look on her face. She smiles weakly and raises up, giving me a hug. "Connor said you might come," she says, her voice shaky. It's then when I realize that Connor and Zoe are standing on the other side of the room, looking at me with sad looks.

"The doctor. H-he said. . ."

"Jared. . ." I turn and see Alana struggling to meet my gaze. Realizing the meaning behind her look, I step away.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly.

Heidi shakes her and looks down at Evan. "He's stable now," she says. "It was just. . . Just a scare. . ."

"Twenty more hours," I hear Connor whisper.

"Wh-what?"

"They said they would know after twenty-four hours if he will be okay," Heidi replies, glancing up at Connor. "He just has to make it until then."

I see Zoe look down at her feet. She has a doubtful look on her face that hurts to see.

She doesn't think he's going to make it.

I sigh softly and turn away, walking out of the room. I'm surprised when Alana follows me, resting her hand on my shoulder. "Jared. . ."

"Just. . . Just give me a minute."

I hear her sigh and feel her pull away. "You know where I am," she says quietly before going back in the room.

Once I'm sure she's gone, I let the tears roll from my eyes. It hurts so much to know the chances. What if he really doesn't make it? What if he leaves thinking that I hate him? What if I never get to tell him the truth?

Still crying, I turn and walk back to the room. Alana frowns and pulls me close for a hug. I want to push her away, but I can't. Instead, I press my face into her shoulder and start crying harder.

"It's okay," she whispers, rubbing my back gently. "It's okay."

"No it's not. It's not okay. He thinks. . . He thinks I hate him. H-he's going to die thinking that I hate him. . ."

"Oh, Honey. . . Don't say that," Heidi says quietly, walking over to me. "Why would he think that?"

"I-I'm a horrible friend. I-I don't even deserve to be called his friend." I turn and look at Heidi. "'Just family friends.' That's what I told him. 'There's a difference, Evan, and you know it.' That's what I told him, but I didn't mean it. H-he's my best friend a-and I'm never going to be able to tell him. He's never going to know."