Another World | ✔️

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Trigger Warnings
Suicide
Depression

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I was hoping to skip the rest of the week, but Mom insisted that I go to school today to get my makeup work. I don't know why Zoe couldn't get it for me, but I didn't argue. It had been several days since we argued, and I didn't want to ruin that now.

"It's Friday," she had insisted. "It won't be too bad."

I shrugged it off and agreed to go. At least now I have a sense of relief. Evan is getting released this afternoon if nothing goes wrong, and Zoe and I are going over after school. Finally, I have good news to share if anyone asks.

Right now, it's lunch. I'm expecting to sit alone — Evan is the only person who has ever sat with me at lunch — but after I've sat there for a few minutes, I see a figure moving towards me.

"Mind if I sit here?" Jared asks, nodding to the seat in front of me.

"You don't have to do that," I grunt. "But you're welcome to."

"Thanks," he murmurs before sitting down. As always, he has his laptop. I don't know what he does on that thing all day, but he seems to enjoy it.

"So," I start after a moment. "Are you handling things alright. . ? Now that you've talked to him."

"I still feel awful," he says quietly. "But I guess it helps some. I'm just glad that he's going to be okay."

"Me too. I'm still worried, though. I know that it takes a while to come back after that, and with it not being the first time. . . I'm just worried he'll try again."

"Y-you were right?"

"He didn't fall, Jared," I grunt.

Jared sighs and shakes his head. "I wish I had realized. . . He's lucky to have a friend like you."

I shrug slightly. "I guess. And don't worry about not knowing. I just know since I've gone through it before. It's easier to tell when you've experienced it yourself."

Jared looks up at me and blinks. "You've. . . Tried?"

"Doesn't matter," I say. I hesitate and pull up a sleeve and let him see before quickly pulling it back down. I don't know why I trust him seeing. I guess after the way he helped me when I found out. . . Maybe he's not so bad, after all. "It's been awhile now. Worry about him more than you worry about me."

Jared closes his eyes for a moment. "Hey, Connor? I'm sorry."

"Hm?"

"For calling you a freak. For the dumb school shooter joke I made. For laughing at you. All that."

"If you're just apologizing because—"

"No, I mean it," Jared cuts me off. "And if you ever need to talk or just yell or something, lay it on me. I may not know exactly how that feels, but I know how it feels to be alone and not have anyone to vent to."

"Thanks," I murmur. It's nice, really. He's not the first person who has said that I can talk to them about this. Alana told me the same thing, and so have a few other classmates. People I've never even spoke to have offered kind words. Of course, some aren't so nice, but I'm used to that.

When I walked in this morning, I heard some kids taunting me. Their words hurt, but I tried to just ignore them. I've already decided hat if they dare say anything about Evan I'll teach them a lesson, but right now I need to focus on being there for him.

What has surprised me the most since Evan's attempt is the way Dad has reacted. Last night, he came to my room to talk to me. At first he just asked about Evan and how he was doing, but then he asked if I was okay. He said we could talk man-to-man if anything is bothering me, but I just thanked him and shook my head. I appreciate the offer, but he's the last person I want to talk to about my problems.

"He just wants attention."

That's what he said the first time I threatened to do it. Even before I started experimenting with drugs he thought I just wanted attention. When he realized I was serious, he never apologized. He just made suggestions to "fix" me.

Now, though, I think he's trying. It's like this has opened his eyes. He sees now how real it can be, I guess. Still, I don't know if I can ever open up to him again. It's just too complicated.

"I have to get back to class," Jared's words grab my attention and pull me back to the present. He's packing up his laptop as he speaks. "See you Monday?"

"Yeah, see ya," I mumble, still lost in thought. "Thanks for sitting with me."

"Anytime."