Señorita

~The Red Rose And The Black Rose~

Camila’s P.O.V.

A knock on the door caused me to turn my head from the window to the detective who was carrying a plate filled with great foods and a juice that I very much love. He has the sweetest attractive smile flashed to me probably because he knows that he’s wronged me and that I am still mad at him.

“I brought lunch, you should go and eat love” He came inside my room, making sure to show me that he’s locking the door just in case I might throw another fit just like what I did last night.

Jesse had stayed the night since I practically cried in his arms until I fell asleep, I didn’t want him to go according to him as I was holding onto him for dear life. My eyes were so puffy and red the moment I woke up, I couldn’t even open my eyes clearly, I almost couldn’t see anything and just had my eyes closed for the whole morning. All I wanted to do was just to head back to sleep because my eyes were practically forcing me to.

Amidst all of these I was just really thankful that Jesse was able to be with me in every second I needed him. The anger and hatred that I have for him still is there, still is evident because it just couldn’t get away with him comforting me. I hold deep grudges and it just couldn’t get away overnight, knowing that he had been lying to me all this time, that he had been actually a bad man behind his cop façade, I just couldn’t help but feel so betrayed and been played.

I felt like I was a robot, fed with lies, ordered what to do, told what do. I was able to live a life I thought that was just in the movies. How can I be this dense? How can I just let it pass? Why haven’t I noticed that something else is going on here? How can I just let this happen? How can I be this stupid?

“Don’t you have work?” I asked softly, refusing to look at him now that he was just so close to me. He placed the plate and the glass on my nightstand.

This morning Jesse had been acting as my nanny, he’s the only one I’m letting to enter in and out of my room even if I still hate him and resent him. I guess I am also crazy to let him in, right now he’s starting to pester me the whole time. He nurses me, fed me, woke me up and even tried to prepare a bath but I stopped him from doing so. Instead of feeling happy and giddy seeing him serving me like a princess, I only wanted to tackle him if I can to stop him from moving.

I just wanted to be alone and this is what he does?! He keeps moving! Going in and out of my room for goodness sake!

“Do you not like me here?” He asked with a small scoff, seeing him acting so casual right before me makes me want to kill him and throw laser beams at him if only I have the power.

How can he be this calm if he knows that I’m about to kill him?

But seriously, I really need to have a checkup with our family doctor, Dr. Torrey because no matter how much I hate this guy I still love him. I actually am considering to forgive him now even if I am literally close to murdering him. My heart is just so soft, I easily give in to the people I love just as with Papa.

They’ve all wronged me and I know that they have their own reasons, I needed to hear them for me to create the final and correct judgement but a part of me is so stubborn. With everyone acting so cautious of me, thinking that I may be a time bomb that’s about to explode, they’re starting to handle me more with care.

I know that Papa would want to talk to me to tell me everything, to explain, for me to hear his side of the story on why he had to do this, on why he didn’t stop even when Mama died. But I also do know that with his love for me, he’s choosing to give me the time to calm down, to have an alone time in order for me to fully process everything. He’s choosing to give me space which I really need.