Señorita

~The Law Of The Rose~

Camila’s P.O.V.

“You better take back what you said Camila because right now I don’t think I can still control my temper around” Jesse’s hand balled into a fist as he started showing his reaction of anger and resentment at the sudden decision that I did, I don’t think Jesse would support me on this knowing how good natured he is and how much he worries about me.

Revenge is vengeance at its finest. Revenge is often referred to as carrying out a bitter desire to injure another for a wrong doing or so. It is an action inflicting hurt or harm to someone for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands. Those were the literal meanings in the dictionary and the web.

Sometimes I feel like people doing their revenge are so wicked and needs help because they think that hurting people can make them happy, that they feel pleasured hearing other people cry for help, seeing them begging for forgiveness just when they’re about to feel the same pain inflicted on them. I hated people like them. I told myself that I would never understand the logic of those people who wanted to do nothing but inflict pain to other people, I promised myself that I shouldn’t be someone like that.

Because that’s not me.

I am not evil. I am not crazy and I don’t enjoy seeing other people beg for something just because they’re afraid to feel the pain or afraid to even die. “An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind” Says Gandhi. Seeking revenge would do not good to anyone especially to the world, evil will just prevail and hatred would keep spreading like plague.

Yet I couldn’t seem to understand myself… For years I’ve always been in the good side, I’ve been a good girl listening to whatever they say, following their directions, doing whatever they want… I thought I was doing the good thing, I thought I was doing the right thing until I realized that this wasn’t the life I deserve, that this isn’t the life that was meant for me.

I am not a puppet that should be played. I am not a dog that should be ordered around and most importantly, I am not a lie detector that should be tackling whether or not these people surrounding me are telling me the truth or are just lying. For once, I thought what if maybe I’d try to be someone I’m not?

I’m done being good… I’m done doing everything they say…

I’m done…

Shakespeare says “If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?”. His line brought me to realize that sometimes asking for justice wouldn’t be given by the law themselves. Especially now, now that I’ve come to realize that my life was never normal. I had been living my life not knowing that I was actually the daughter of a mafia that will never have justice for the death of my mother knowing that it was another strong and powerful mafia who had killed her.

The law wouldn’t be able to do anything to give us justice. The more we cry and do nothing, the more powerful that mafia would think they are. If we just do nothing and keep waiting for the police to arrest them then it’ll take several billions of years for that justice to be served. Several lives had been taken away by them, ones including my mother who did nothing but be the wife of a mafia leader and just loved me, protected me like a real mother should.

If I would do nothing and just wait for the law to get them, justice still wouldn’t be served because I know that they have power over the people. I’m sure that maybe they’ll even try to get out of the prison with the use of money and fabricate evidences just so they wouldn’t be pushed to the said crimes..

If all people are this good, then they’re close to being dumb…

I know that I have to take these matters in my own hands now.