Heart & Sincerity

52/ I Love You

Alice laid down on the couch as soon as she got home. FP had been silent the whole drive back. He had been thinking a lot about what he had to tell her. He didn't think there would ever be a good time to give her the news, but he had to come forward eventually. He just wanted to have the few minutes before to enjoy things as they were.

FP walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. He grabbed a cup from the cupboard and began to pour himself water. He still had many thoughts running through his head. Divorces and custody battles were excruciating. It proved to him that he didn't want to waste his time dwelling over the hardships of life. He wanted to spend his time with her and his children; the people he loves.

He put the jug back in the refrigerator. He grabbed his cup of water and looked out into the living room. Alice finally looked peaceful. It made him smile.

FP positioned himself underneath Alice on the couch. She turned her head to face him. "Hey."

"Hey," He said back to her. "I want to talk to you."

"About what?"

FP dipped his head down to place a kiss on her head. "These crazy times we have had to deal with made me realize something. This isn't really going to be easy, I'll admit, but I know you deserve to hear it from me. Especially sooner rather than later."

"What is it?"

"I got some news at my routine check up today. I know I had to share it with you."

"Please don't tell me it's bad news." He could hear the worry in the sound of her voice and it broke his heart.

There was a long pause. "I'm...I'm afraid it is," FP shakily breathes out. He fluttered his eyes to hold back the tears. "The meds just aren't enough."

Alice twisted herself around to face him. "We can find you something. We can talk to Charles. He must know some of the best doctors and treatments out there."

"We've done that, Al. Charles did some investigating. What we have is the best thing we've got."

"How long?" Alice asked, afraid of his answer.

"Max, three years in my condition."

"I can't lose you like this." Alice placed her head on his chest. Her arms dug underneath him to hold him. She had no intention of letting go.

"I don't like it either, but my kidneys can't do much better. All we can do is hope for the better. I'm doing the most I can to get better with these meds."

"FP, is Charles really sick or had he been crying?"

FP nodded her answer. "He was there with me through it all."

"I can't bear the thought of not having you here with me or the kids."

"I love you, Alice." FP took the opportunity to finally tell her what has been stuck on the tip of his tongue for years.

"This wasn't how this was supposed to happen," Alice scrunched her face. "We weren't supposed to say our I love yous under these circumstances."

"Please promise me you won't tell anyone, especially the kids. I want things to feel normal for as long as they can. Can you do that for me?"

"I don't know if I can do that," Alice didn't want to keep a big secret like that from them.

"Please?" He pleaded. He caressed her cheek. "There's also something else. I meant what I said when I said that you're the best mother any child could ever have. That's why I brought something up to Ms. Weiss when I met with her. You know I trust you with my children. When I go...would you be okay with taking care of them for me? If that's too much to ask for I completely understand. There's always Charles. He could take them in. I already talked to him about it."