Just A Single Chance

CHANCE 38

                      A SINGLE CHANCE
                       mintgreenmagic

Chapter 38: Secrets

Amber's POV:

"Mom, I'll get going now!" I shouted to my Mom who is currently in the kitchen helping

"Okay. Be safe, honey!" she shouted back and I left the house

Bumuntong hininga ako at pinagisipan kung tama ba ang ginagawa kong ito. But this is for the best. Para na din malaman ko kung hanggang kailan na nga lang ba.

I told my Mom na kasama ko ngayon si Bryan at magdadate kami but in reality, I planned on visiting my doctor in secret.

These past few weeks kasi ay nagkakaroon ako ng mild chest pains. I never told my Mom about it kasi ayaw kong mag-alala siya. She's been dealing with my health ever since I was born. 

I have a weak heart. Isa na yun sa inaalala ni Mommy simula nung mabuhay ako sa mundong ito. Then, nadagdagan pa yun nang magkaroon ako ng trust issues sa mga malalaking tao. I had a very bad experience when I was a kid. Kaya nakakadagdag pa yun sa malfunctions ng puso ko.

I wanted to know if my last day was already written in the calendar para naman maging handa ako if ever. At para hindi masaktan si Bryan masyado.

I took a cab from the entrance of the subdivision and to the hospital where our family doctor works.

I went up to his office and he was surprised to see me.

"Amber? What are you doing here? Diba sa Sunday pa ang schedule of checkup mo? Nasaan ang mommy mo?" he bombarded me with questions

I smiled at umupo sa sofa na nada office niya.

"I came here on my own po. I....I just want to have my checkup now at ayaw kong isama si mommy. Ayokong dagdagan ang mga iniisip niya." I stated and the doctor sighed

"Well then, bakit naisipan mong magpacheckup ng maaga? Are you not feeling well? Tell me. Iniinom mo naman ang medicines mo hindi ba?"

"Iniinom ko po lahat ng meds na binibigay ninyo. Sinusunod ko din po lahat ng do's and don'ts na sinabi mo. It's just that, these past few weeks po ay nakakaramdam ako ng mild chest pains. Akala ko po ba ay gumagana ang medications ko?" I sadly said and I saw the look on his face

Naawa siya sa akin. Well, everybody takes pity on me. Mayaman naman daw ako at spoiled kaso may sakit.

I was trying to hold my tears back kasi alam ko naman na eh. The doctor said to me, na kapag nagkaroon pa daw ako ng chest pains at iniinom ko naman lahat ng meds ko, wala na daw siyang magagawa.

"Let me check your heart Amber. Please wait for the result" he said and left the office

I stared at a heart model and my tears fell. Sana ganito na lang ang puso ko. For all my life I've been wishing for a single thing. At yun ay ang gumaling ako. Alam kong parang nagwiwish ako ng isang milagro but hoping that I still can recover from this disease won't hurt right?

Pinunasan ko ang aking luha at ngumiti sa doctor.

I was expecting him to smile brightly at me but all I receive was a sad smile.

He heaved a sigh before delivering me the bad news.

"I was a hundred percent sure that I did my best to help you recover, Amber. Siguradong sigurado na akong makakarecover ka but maybe I still had doubts on the way. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkulang pero yung puso mo na ang nagdesisyon kaya wala na akong magagawa."

"Hanggang.....hanggang kailan na lang po ba?" I sadly asked

"Your heart is really failing. Mas lumala ang kondisyon ng puso mo. So I am estimating na baka one month na lang Amber. A month left before you leave this cruel world" he said and wept the tears on his face

"T...thank you na lang po, doctor. And please remember that you did your very best para matulungan ako. You're the best doctor I met in my life. Salamat po sa lahat lahat" I said and stood up

Palabas na ako ng office niya nang masalita siya.

"Surgery!" he shouted

"Po?" I asked confused

"We can conduct a surgery. That way you can live a longer life!" he smiled

"Ayoko po." I retorted

"Ha? Bakit? Amber think about this. Kapag nagundergo ka ng surgery you can live for more than one month! You can still live a happy life. Sabihon mo lang na gusto mo ng heart surgery, gagawin agad natin!" he happily said

"Just thinking that I can still live a long life makes me happy but I refuse to undergo surgery. Ayokong mabuhay gamit ang ibang puso. I'll still choose this weak heart above any other healthy heart kasi ito yung pusong binigay sa akin ni God. I was destined to have a weak heart. Kaya ayoko, doctor. Please keep this meeting a secret from anyone, please? I'll get going na po and thank you for your time." I said and exited the hospital

Kahit ilang beses pa akong tanungin hindi ako papayag na magundergo ng surgery.

I'd rather die with my weak heart kaysa mabuhay gamit ang puso ng ibang tao.

Hindi pa ako umuwi sa bahay at pumunta ako kina Bryan. He was surprised to see me. I only said, "Let's go" at sumama na siya sa akin.

We rode his car and I told him I wanted to go to Intramuros. I have always wanted to go there with Bryan. Susulitin ko na ang araw na ito. Hindi natin alam baka yung one month ko, one week na lang talaga.

I smiled bitterly. I stared at Bryan who is busy driving. I held his right hand and he looked surprised.

"I love you" I said and he replied back

It's just so sad. Kung kailan masayang masaya na ako saka naman nakahanap ang tadhana para maging malungkot ulit ako. I bit my lip para hindi lumabas ang luha ko.

Hindi ako mapigil sa pagsabi ng "I love you" kay Bryan.

"Hey, I love you most okay? Tsaka bakit parang ang sweet sweet mo ngayon? Is it my birthday?" he joked and I smiled

"I love you" sabi ko ulit at ngumiti na lang si Bryan

All throughout our ride, I consistently said I love you to Bryan. Gusto kong malaman niya na mahal na mahal ko siya. At least before I die alam niyang mahal ko siya. Mahal na mahal.

"Babe, tara Intramuros date?" he said and I smiled before holding his hand

"Intramuros date it is!" I said and we happily entered Intramuros

With our hands intertwined, our eyes locked to each other and the happy smile on our faces.