Baby Fever

Winter Break

Dear Journal, 

Today is Friday, December 20, the last day of school before winter break. Jer and I went to the OB yesterday, and she confirmed that I am officially 13 weeks pregnant today. And YES, I have started showing, but just a little bit. 

The bump itself isn't even big or anything, but I constantly feel bloated. It's like when you eat a lot during a party, and you get a food baby...but like I actually have a human baby. Jer gave me some of his hoodies, and at first, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Like, is he trying to hide his mistake, or is he trying to protect me?  I don't really want to dwell on it much, because it just makes me even more confused. 

Dr. Onya wants me to take a second to write about the people who are important to me, so here it is:

First and foremost, is my mother, Sarah Mia. We haven't really talked much, because a lot of people wanted princess Christmas weddings this year. She's triple booked.  Honestly, she's on the top of the list because I'm just glad that she's alive, and that she hasn't left me. She tries, but we just don't have the heart-to-hearts that we used to. Still, we're all we've got.

As for Layla, well, I sometimes feel like she's the main character in my story. I mean, I'm sure a lot more people would rather read about the awkward headstrong girl who managed to get the hottest guy on the planet, only to have him deported later on. And how she's now scarred from love forever and takes up most of my bed space. Yes, Layla came back shortly after Thanksgiving break, and she's been moping at my house ever since Dominic left. I'm sure some rich billionaire will swoop her off her feet, and even if that doesn't happen, it'd make a great episode story. Regardless, she's the strongest person I know, and I'm confident she'll get through this.

Alanna, Alanna, Alanna. There's so much I could write about her, and yet, so little space. She's really harsh, especially when it comes to the fat that's started to accumulate on my back. But she's also ALWAYS had my back, it's like she's the only person allowed to say bad things about me. We haven't talked that much lately, though. Matter of fact, she's been getting really close with Keon. 

Speaking of Keon, I think it's only right that I add him to the list, even though I still don't remember our handshake. Keon and Chuck sometimes remind me of Craig and Jordan. I mean they're all goofy (sometimes cringy) and hot. The big difference is that Keon and Chuck actually like me for me, and not because of who I'm in a relationship with. They play this game where it's like, every month as I get bigger, they try to see who can lift me with the least difficulty. It's stupid, and I'm forced to play against my will, but it's still nice hanging out with guys that don't make me feel uncomfortable. Fun fact, Chuck is my official taste tester and comes over every Sunday. Keon usually tags along. 

You know, thinking about all the people I care about makes me really think about the people that I only hang around for comfort. I was obsessed with Julian and her friends because I couldn't bear the thought of not being apart of a group. I can't bear the thought of being alone, even when I'm not alone. 

Anyways, that's enough mental health stuff for one day. I have to put on a smile, and I have to be strong. I'll try to not shed any tears today.

Yours truly,

Victor

...

"Layla, are you ready? C'mon, today's the last day, and you're going to make us late." This girl would not come out of the bathroom. 

"I'll meet you in the car!" She wasn't even trying to conceal her sadness. 

"Have you been crying again?" I asked softly.