He Isn't the Nerd for Me! / Jinkook ✔

She knows more than I knew.

Jin leaves the house a little later than what he planned for and with a smile that brings thousands to my own lips. I can't stop goofing around like a clown, even though I assume my parents are now sleeping.

However, when I see my mom in the living room, sitting in the dark peacefully on the couch, I jump away in fright. She laughs hard at my reaction. It was absolutely unexpected. The dark environment makes it even more dramatic just like a horror movie.

"I guess this can be counted as a pay back after all the times you almost gave me a heartattack!" She lets out in a calm voice. I can now totally understand what she feels in those moments and I sympathize!

"Mom, I thought you were asleep!" I somehow whine resentfully. She smiles sadly and that kind of makes me regret everything I said.

"I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't. It wouldn't come to my eyes." She utters and I just stand in the middle of the living room confused about what to do or what should I say to those statements.

"Come here to mommy, baby."

She opens her arms for me, and this time I happily throw myself at her! I lie my potato head on her thigh, and she starts stroking my pitch black hair softly.

Her hands always give me a fluttering feeling in my stomach and little goosebumps tickle my sides in pleasurable ways.

"How was the time with, Jin?" She asks, and I look up at her grinning foolishly.

"That face tells me it went on good, hmm?" I nod at her and close my eyes to enjoy the moment again. I want to drown myself in the thoughts of his beautiful smile tonight. These are all I've got, and yet they're too much for my heart.

"I'm happy you made it with him, baby. I guess you're now officially one step close to gain his heart!" Mom speaks in a voice that radiates peace, but my reaction doesn't match her tone in any possible ways. I jerk away from my place and gape at her in the darkness of the room.

"Mom, I-I..." I can't help my stuttering; I can't say anything coherent.

"I know you like him, baby. All those odd, cute actions tonight and before he even came here proved it all to me." Was I that obvious? I hope at least, it wasn't the case for Jin.

"It's not something to be ashamed of. Actually gotta admit you have a great taste in picking, I don't only mean his features by that." I can see her winking at me playfully with the help of the dim light coming from the windows.

"I..." I stop to let out the breath I held for so long without knowing myself.

"I like him so much mom, but I don't know how to be the one for him, or even for a beginner, I don't even know how I can tell him about my feelings." I mumble gloomily. Suddenly, I don't know why, but my cheeks feel warm and I touch them with my fingers to be hit with the fact that I'm actually crying.

"You don't need to be someone special to make impression, my beautiful son. I believe this Jungkook is whom he's chosen to befriend with, and that's just all you need for the moment. That's also all he wants from you." She speaks to me in total honesty .

She doesn't say I'm perfect or doesn't even claim that I'm nearly good; she just believes right now I'm enough, and that's all I want to hear. That in itself assures me she's not lying or she doesn't want to give me false hopes just to make my mood happy for the time being.

"Mom, do you believe I have a chance with him? I'm no match to him in anything. I'm not as good-looking as he is. I'm not as clever as he is. I'm just nothing in comparison to him."

I put my head on her lap again and stare up at the ceiling emptily, waiting for my mom to probably tell me you have good things in you, but when I don't hear that I just cry more.

"I believe if he cared about matches, he wouldn't come here in the first place." The words are killing me inside in an understanding way. Still, my insecurities are stronger and they're taking the lead even when I'm aware.

"But, he's all alone in school and maybe that was why he gave a chance to coming here, and it doesn't have anything to do with me at all, mom?" I don't know why I try so hard to find stupid excuses to beat her words. It's just the way I am, weak and pathetic.

"That's another good sign, baby! He's chosen to be alone all this while in school, but he came here for you. He gave you a shot." She raises her brows for me, but I'm just not convinced.

The only thing I'm sure about is that I don't want him just to be my friend; I want more from him. I found out he noticed me, however that can't really say if he likes me the way I like him. And that somehow prevents me to try a little more to achieve more.

"Stop the stupid insecurities in your head, Jungkook, and don't rush things. I'm positive you'll get what you want if you just listen to mommy!"

I want to groan out loud and complain that I'm not a five-year-old kid who needs mommy all the time, but at the same time thinking about everything, I've made all these progresses only with the help of her so far.

"So, what's the next step, captain?! I need to wear suit for school from now on!" I ask her, getting up from her lap. We both chuckle lightly at my silliness.

"The next step is to be a good friend." She commands me and I pout the cutest way I can, or at least this is what I believe.

"How to be a good friend?" I ask my second question from the boss in complete seriousness. She laughs a little again before coming closer and whispering into my ear, "By being you!"

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I told everyone writing this chapter was hard for me. It was because of my own mother. She's a mental case, and it's always been hard for me. Still, I love her absolutely. This chapter somehow reminds of the old times with her.

By the way, I hope you enjoyed it.

PS: I also hope the picture tells you all you need to remember from this chapter and for your whole life:
~ love yourself ~