He Isn't the Nerd for Me! / Jinkook ✔

My rage is hidden in my tears.

I walk back and forth in my room, waiting for the living room's lights to black out, but it seems like my parents don't want to leave the matter; they don't want to leave me alone.

I need to find another solution for my chest is hurting me, and I need someone. I can't talk with my parents, not even my mom because she was actually the one who asked my dad to keep the divorce thing pushed towards darkness preventing me from knowing.

The sound of heavy raining outside makes me look at my window after letting my head search for ways, and that's when the crazy idea comes to my mind.

As I said before, my room is in the second storey of the house. Me, wanting to climb down an almost straight wall is absolutely crazy, but I'm also absolutely crazy in this moment.

Not even changing or at least wearing a pair of socks for my bare feet, I slide up the pane without making any noises and check the height before throwing myself out.

It's high, but I can do it; I need to do it. I come out and grab the lower edge of the window with my hands tightly. There's nothing to hold my feet onto. So without thinking, I just let go my hands and jump down.

I land on my feet, but I can't keep my balance and sway around a couple of times that I end up putting my palms on the ground for support.

Even though my body, especially my feet hurt, I ignore the pain and run to the only place I can think of for the time being.

There's no living soul outside and most of the lights are off. The only sound that comes is when the raindrops impinge upon the ground and make the gloomiest song that could pour down my own rain.

The crying motivates me more to go there, even though it's past midnight and he's also asleep by now. I take the long way to his house in less than what I could believe my feet can endure, especially now that they have no protection, just like myself.

Just when I'm about to knock on the old door, I fist my hand back. Is this right; to put my misery upon his shoulders when he's seeking survial from his own drownings?

I stay hesitant for a long time. My hair and body are soaked and I start to shiver due to the coldness. Letting out a heavy sigh, I turn my body to leave. Yet, the front door's rattling sound makes me turn around instantly.

I don't know why or how, but he's standing there, on the doorway, watching my figure. I must look skinnier than usual because my clothes have become my skin.

Jin rubs his sleepy eyes to see if he sees right or it's just his imagination.

"Jungkook, what are you doing here at this time?!" He asks in a raspy voice, his eyes fluttering and temting him to go back to sleep right in there, but they get wide open when a heavy weight is thrown at his body.

I don't know what happens to my mind in that moment. I just run to him as a flood, deep from my bosom, bursts out and the rain water on my cheeks becomes salty thanks to my own tears.

He walks us inside the house fast without saying anything. I break the hug and wipe my tears, still more pour down.

"Let's go to my room, ok?" Jin whispers softly and I, unable to let out any words, just nod curtly. We walk pass his parents quietly, even though I feel smothered inside to cry out again. We go to the attic and Jin closes the door.

"What happened, Jungkook?" He asks as he's sitting me on his bed gently. I lower my head, not so sure if I should say it to him.

"Please tell me. I wanna help you." He squats down in front of me and holds my hands in his.

"M-my parents... T-they are getting a divorce. They d-didn't even wanna t-tell me. I-I found out myself, Jin." I stutter between my sobs painfully. He caresses my knuckles softly to calm me down while I'm struggling to breathe properly.

"How do you feel about them now?" He whispers the question and I stop crying for a short moment to think.

"I-I'm mad b-because they lied to me. My heart pains and I wanna shout o-out to the world." I let whatever comes to my mind flow, looking into space.

"You wanna shout out?!" Jin repeats my words, questioning me once more.

"Yes." I let out determined and strong. Jin stands up and gets his pillow from the bed. I watch him in surprise when he steps away from me to the other side of the room.

"You wanna shout? Take it all out on this, Jungkook." He speaks and holds out the pillow before my vision.

"What?! No, I don't-" I shake my head and blurt out the words, but he cuts me off.

"Release the anger out, Jungkook. Lighten your soul."

"But your parents could-"

"No sound comes out from here to where they are. DO IT!" This time he yells to prove his words, and I focus my eyes on the old white pillow.

I rise from the bed and attack the object madly. I punch it so mercilessy that Jin has a hard time keeping the pillow in place. A strong punch of my right hand makes him trip and fall a bit.

"Jin, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." I rush to him, but he stands up immediately and shoves my hands.

"Continue!" He somehow orders me and I widen my eyes in state of shock.

"Have you gone insane?! I'll hurt you."

"I'm fine. But you're not. You need this." He tells me reassuringly and when I look at his eyes, he nods and holds the pillow out once more.

I look straight at the target and start punching a little more gentle than before, but his unusually loud voice, persuading me to go rough, makes me lose the straw for real this time.

The pillow is about to explode, but it doesn't stop me. I've never felt like what I'm feeling right now. It's like with every punch everything comes out of me, my rage, my pain, and the reality.

At the end, I get to a point that my knuckles feel numb and I fall on my knees.

Jin throws the pillow away and puts me in his arms. I can't help but let my tears slide over my cheeks once more. I let myself be vulnerable with him without even thinking over it a second.

He's an angel, and with him I never try to hide; with him, I can be the me nobody has ever seen and never gets to.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

It's hard to write all these sad stuffs altogether, but remember: It's the pain that finally leads you to save yourself from your misery, from the you that needs change.