He Isn't the Nerd for Me! / Jinkook ✔

Life is not what I thought.

Kim Seokjin...
Who is this boy to me? A friend, a crush, a lover, or a boyfriend?
I'm still working on the last one. I'm still working on proving myself to him. And...

I'm taking the largest and the best steps of my life. Opening about what happened to me that night in Seoul to my parents was the hardest part of the whole story.

Yet, after that step which supposed to be the easiest one in comparison to the other stuffs, I felt like there's nothing to stop me. I felt I could face them all with full power.

Mom and dad both understood me right on the spot and put me in their warm embraces without considering the fact that they're divorced spouses. They shed tears with me and soothed me with their graceful words. I was stupid for not believing in them in the first place.

After telling the truth, I brought up the idea of seeing a therapist to them instantly. They accomplished my request without hesitation. They said when I feel the need for one, then it'll for certain help me with my condition.

Mrs. Sung, aka my therapist, has helped me a lot through every session we had together. She comes to our house every monday and wednesday and talk through things with me in my own room in dad's house.

I love the fact that she's a woman. That really helps me to communicate with her in a different way, somehow like the way I do with my mom but consisting of more knowledge this time.

She's really a reliable person; one you're definite to share your secrets with, and she can always give you the best needed pieces of advice. I talk with her about whatever bothers me in my mind besides the rape thing.

About that night in Seoul, she made me realize that I was trying to get on with my life, ignoring all about my rape not in an effecting way.

I was trying to put blinders on and pretend I'm all fine. But in fact, it was eating me alive from inside. It was affecting my decisions, logic, and in all the course of my entire life in the worst ways possible.

With knowing these stuffs, I'm now doing all in me with the help of Mrs. Sung and my parents to deal with the problem in a way not to have its best on me. I'm learning to accept that this happened to me, and now it should be the cause for me to speak up.

If I don't, I'll just be a pathetic victim for the rest of my life and every time it comes to me, it'll traumatize me without myself realizing it. However, it has come to a stop with me learning all about it.

Now that I told everything to the people I care about and they also do care about me, I finally feel light. And now that I'm fixing my mind, I'm wise and happy to a near point to decide for me!

After searching and asking around some experts, at the end, I made my mind to train taekwando, but also I'll install gym equipment to finalize my job. I'll boost my trainees' strength with working them out, too. A strong person can always do better in taekwando.

I need to be trained again for the gym part and gain a certificate which I'll gladly do. I come all this way and that won't stop me. Thankfully, my famous, amazing university will help my job to be done a lot sooner than usual.

I'm also searching around for a new house. I have some great picks, but I can't go on with them now as Jin should have his opinion on them, too. I should consider his parents, as well.

I visit them a lot without seeing Jin lately, and they both greet me like their son. I finally got the chance to see Jin's hyung and his little family.

And as I expected they are really nice people. They all see me like their own. I don't think I ever deserve that, but I'm not going to lose it for that reason, either. Instead, I'm going to make it valuable for myself only with changing.

As promised, Jin doesn't contact with me that much. His job is only waiting, and I'm going to make sure the wait will be worth it for him. I'm not going to disappoint him anymore. I'll make him proud of choosing to be patient with me.

I talked with Hoseok about all Jimin did to ruin my relationship and the following mistakes I made. He gave me the right if I don't want to hang out with him anymore, but he said he can't break his own friendship with Jimin. They have been friends for a long time, and they're hell close.

I told him I'm not in their way, and I can totally understand. Breaking his bond with Jimin isn't something I have a saying in. I'm just going to keep being friend with Hoseok, and maybe await for the day Jimin is sorry for his actions. I think I may be able to forgive him like Jin has forgiven Taehyung.

Speaking of Taehyung, never in my whole existence I'd believe a day I'd be this close to him. He has become a whole new person along with Namjoon, and honestly both are really fun to hang out with. They're closer to me than to Jin now which is as I said before nothing but a real shock.

Jin has finally quitted working at the supermarket as he's now making himself ready to be a damn great history teacher. The subject he has always had passion for from the day I got to know this not real person.

The funny thing is he hasn't stopped his studies to this point. I'm certain he'll end up as a professor. Even back then when we talked about historical stuffs, I couldn't get a word of his. God blesses me the day he's a professor of a some sort great university.

Joking apart, I want all Jin wants for his future. I'm sure I will love that Jin more, too. I want a future where we're both happy with our jobs just like he told me before I went to Seoul.

Thinking about his words, all I can get from this person is that he's matured due to his circumstances and the things he faced early in his life. Nevertheless, even with that being there, he's still the best and funniest friend I've ever had to spend time with.

And I'm counting days for the moment I can tell him I'm ready just like him, and we can spend not only times but our lives together.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Honestly, guys, I love this story for the simple but essential messages it brings out for us teenagers and young people. I think being a teenager myself really helped me through all the challanges of writing this story.

I will answer all your beautiful comments in the epilogue chapter of "Alpha" later as I'm a little bit busy for the time being. Still, I read them thoroughly, and all I have to say is that I'm in tears with your amazing words of blessing. Thank you, and again thank you for spending time to read my words. 💜💖