✿ᴮᵉᵃᵘᵗʸ ᶦˢ ᴾᵃᶦⁿ✿ [βιΙΙdιρ]

♡●βειηg α Ριηεs●♡

Note: This chapter carries trigger warnings, but it's only one:

-suicidal thoughts

>So I suggest to please be sensitive when it comes to commenting about this topic, I will not except any jokingly comments about this subject and I will absolutely not accept any comments about competeing who has it worse. If you get triggered by this topic plesse skip the chapter or ask me (or another reader) to give you a summary of the chapter itself. The trigger warning isn't for so long, but it is a trigger I would like to put. I don't condone any of this and if you experience with this then get help, okay continue reading♡

3rd pov

"What do you mean you aren't hungry?! Look, Dipper..you probably haven't ate since this morning! You at least have to be starving!" Will stated as he looked worryingly over the brunette who simply blinked. The group was already in the restaurant, or a cheaper one. They all were assigned one table as the group sat, Will and Pyronica were sat on the other side of Bill and Dipper. The brunette was laying his head against the window as he pulled his knees up to his chest, he took in the warmth of the sweatshirt.

"Yeah, I have to actually agree with Will, Pinetree..how are you not hungry? I mean I don't want you starving, like yeesh, are you trying to die or some shit?" Bill commented as a waiter then gave them all a menu, her eyes observing the brunette for a moment and then simply shrugging her thoughts off..she thought he looked familiar to someone.

"Thank you for your concerns, but I just don't have any appetite..also if it makes you feel better, I'll get a glass of water!" Dipper smiled at them all as his pride arose from simply ordering water. All the three looked at him with a deadpan expression, that was until Pyronica spoke up.

"Yeah, we'll just order some goldfish crackers for you! Its not much, but at least you won't be starving. Just a small snack, okay?" They all nodded as Dipper simply looked down in shame, he didn't feel like eating. It was odd. He used to be desperate to even eat a thin crumb when he was little, but now? Just the smell of food suddenly disgusted him, he didn't understand what was going on with his body or his mind. His mother always shamed him for his body, looks, anything..and he believed her. She was his mother after all, she brought him into the world and she had every right to criticize him, even if it hurt. He wanted to make her proud, he just wanted to hear those words, but..they never came. Dipper was suddenly insecure about his body, sure he's a model, but his mother didn't like him. How is he supposed to feel after his own biological mother left him after all that pain she put him through? He didn't know how to answer that, he didn't know what she wanted, he didn't know what he himself wanted, he just wanted to make someone proud.

'Oh, stop being so negative, Dipper- Dipper? Since..when did that name show up? What happened to Mason- no he's dead. I'm not Mason..right? But manager says I am..well when she's directly talking to me..but what about Mabel? I'm not her, but I'm seen as her..am I not meeting anyones expectations? No..no you aren't. Ma s ybe man h ager w u as rig t ht. I mean, just lo u ok at y p ou! You could easily pinch the side of your arms and you'll see ho l w m e uch dis t gusting fat you ha t ve in yo h u, ju e st lik m e mother sa h id..n e o, m l ang p er. Just like manager said. Make her proud, make her smil t e, be t h he d i au s ghter- son she alw i ay s s wa n nte t d. It'll be alright, you aren't e f ve i n h n un e gry. You're probably just overthinking your hunger, yeah. You're overthinking everything. There's nothing to worry about..its fine. This is fine. You're fine- no, no stop with these stupid thoughts! You're not fine at all! You're starving for sakes! You're hungry, you haven't eaten an actual whole meal or any of those meals you NEED to eat in so many years! When..when was the last time you've talked to anyone else other than Ruby? When was the last time you smiled near others? When was the last time you were actually Dipper- you're overthinking everything again. Just stop. Listen to manger. Let her lead you. She's fixing you. She's fixing you. She's fixing you. She's fixing you. She's fixing you. She's fixing you. She's fixing you.ᎮᏝᏋᏗᏕᏋ, ᏗᏁᎩᎧᏁᏋ, ᏂᏋD̵̡̬͙̮̩͕̘̜̖̆̀͐̑͊̃͝͝o̴͍͉̻̰̜̺͖̯̅̓̿͑̍̐̄ͅn̶̢͚͕͙̳̓̈̈́̏̽́̎̕̚'̵̡̧̤̞̪͚̟͎͊̈́͠t̵̼̙̼̝͕̼͈̯̏̈́̓͛̅́̉̉͝ ̷̯͊͒̅̾͠t̸̥͗̆̋́̃̓ŗ̵̻͔̤̰͇͕̞̭͋̈̆̅̑͋̐͝ư̷̡̘̘̙͚̏͗̈̅͛͋̋̆s̸̛͖̩̾ţ̸̨̲͔̯̓͆̓̆̀̎̍̚͝ ̸̲̹̪̙͚͍͎̥̑̎͒̈́͗̃ͅţ̸̢̧̘͕̼̮̲̖͈̒͝h̸͇̣̳̥̯̩̤̝̽̓̓͆̿̎́́̒ė̴̯̖̓m̷͓͖͚̥̮̉ᏝᎮ ᎷᏋ..ᎥᎷ ᏁᎧᏖ ᎦᎥᏁᏋ-'