He said he loved me... (completed)

Sorting out my feelings

Chapter 8: Sorting out my feelings

"Let it out..." Kate said comfortingly as we left the house and walked into the freedom of our front lawn.

Never in my life had I actually loved this place (because the car was in the way and we had to share it with the next door neighbour-which by the way never looks after her side!) but right at this precise moment, it was heaven!

I felt bad about having to take it all out on Kate but she didn't seem to mind, I mean, not being selfish or anything but why should I let this offer go to waste?

"If you can answer this question then you're the biggest genius on earth: why? Why do all the guys go for her? Not being mean-"

"I understand. Don't worry about it! Just 'coz she's my sister doesn't mean I have to like her! And anyway, that question's been going through my head from the minute she got her first date!" We started to laugh, very loudly.

That caused a couple of heads to turn, but we didn't care, we just kept on walking. Over the last couple of weeks that my cousins have been here going on walks had become a tradition; a necessity. I started to learn that talking about things made them less of a burden on my conscience, although I did share some of my secrets with best friends… I just… you know, some things are best kept to yourself…

“You shouldn’t let her get to you” Kate began, trying to teach me a lesson; unfortunately I hate it when people younger than me try and tell me what to do, so half of the time I switch off and not pay attention.

“Monika! I’m serious! You need revenge!” she suddenly had my full attention.

As much as I love being nice to people, the word ‘revenge’ sends shivers up my spine and I feel all tingly inside. Revenge. Sounds good.

“What d’you want me to do then?” I asked, looking totally innocent, as if I would never ever plan on getting revenge on someone; although I have to admit that I have, on more than one occasion!

“I don’t know. We got to make her realise what pain you went through when she done that to you!” Kate was seriously enjoying this; I could tell.

Surprisingly I’m ok with it too. The sisters fight so much; you’d think that they weren’t even related! But I get why Kate is so keen on getting revenge… after all those years Gina had bullied her into things and blamed her for everything. Sure, I understand. I would’ve done the same to Aaron.

“Hmmmm….” I was deep in thought, thinking of ways I could possibly make Gina feel the way that I felt when she was asked for her phone number by Jacian or when she started flirting shamelessly with the guy she knew I had a crush on.

After about two whole minutes I had dismissed about six plans in my head which all involved some guy breaking her heart, standing her up or just pretending to be interested in her. Number one, I’d need a guy and I’d hate to burst my bubble but I’m just not close to any guys that are not my brothers! Plans Dismissed.

After about 5 minutes of hard thinking I gave up. There’s nothing that I could do to show her hurt I am, and besides… I’m not that mean *angel face*. Honestly. The horns are only there to hold up the halo! And I accidently got my wings dirty, so they’re at the laundry place… what? This isn’t a tail! It’s a loose thread…

“I know!” Kate exclaimed.

“Good, ‘coz I have no idea! What is it?” She had all of my attention now

“All you need to do is not let her win!” Kate replied, waving her arms in the air, gesturing to an invisible person.

Unfortunately I was a bit slow on that… I just didn’t get what she was on about…

“I’m not sure I know what you mean-“Sure you do! All you need to do is not let her get him! You need to fight for him! Because you actually like him and because it’d be nice to rub it in her face too! Hahahah!” Kate started to laugh.

“But…” She didn’t hear me.

I wanted to tell her how wrong and right this is at the same time, I wanted to tell her that I actually really do like him, and I just really wanted to tell her not to use me as an excuse to get back at Gina. But I didn’t. Nope…  I didn’t.