If anyone knows me, they know I like to sing. Well, everyone except Evan. See, I've never sang in front of Evan because of, well, I may or may not be head over heels in love with him and when I sing, I let my real emotions out. Which is why, I don't want to sing a song and then without realizing, I just spilled my guts out for Evan. And I'm not exactly the best singer and he deserves the best there is.
Anyway, I found this really cool place behind Spencer's gifts, it's like one of those sound rooms where real singers sing in so anh outside noise won't bother them. I totally didn't forget the name, but it's old so no one uses it anymore. In my spare time, I go in there, sing a few notes, get some anger out, and I leave. It's been one of my routines for a while.
It was like any other day, I step in, play one of my favorite songs from my playlist on my phone, put on some headphones, and I'm in my own world. Nothing seems to bother me anymore, I'm completely cool in there. Like I wasn't already. Off topic again, but I recently found this really cool song called "RAIN" by no one other than Ben Platt. Honestly he's probably one of the best artists in the world.
Soon enough, I'm jamming out to Rain and forgetting all my worries, even when I forgot to lock the door after I came in (>:3). I'm standing next to the microphone, don't even care if it's on or off, and start singing at the same tempo of the song. I get so into it that I can't hear a thing other than the song I'm listening to.
"You say you've been through this before
You gave away all your secrets to someone who is and left you to pieces"
I start thinking about Evan who used to be madly in love with Connor. Until he decided to cheat on him with someone else. The next day, he tells Zoe all of Evan's secrets. From that day on, I hated him. Nobody should use Evan like that.
"I know the feeling, believe me"
Back when the Connor project was a thing, Evan used me for emails then had the audacity to tell me he didn't need me anymore. Just to be clear, Connor and Evan were dating in secret, which I didn't blame them, who knows how people would've reacted. But it hurt when Evan left me for some project.
"I know the prices you've gotta pay
I'm sacrificing my freedom
And all just to get somebody to see me"
I spent most of my summer helping Evan out with the project, secretly giving hints through the emails, spending more time with him. He never noticed how much I did for him, but let's be honest, I'm not good with emotions. I would be shocked if he actually knew what I was doing.
"Nobody said it was easy"
It really isn't, spending countless hours without sleep, trying to make everything perfect, just for him.
"My heart's been broken and broken and broken and broken
But I keep, keep on hoping and hoping and hoping and hoping
That if it keeps on breaking and breaking and breaking and breaking
Then one day it'll open and open and open and open and open for you"
No matter how hard I try, I'm not sure if I could just let Evan in. I've been alone and secretive almost my whole life, it would be a big change if all of a sudden he was there. I'm scared I'll shut him out or anyone else out again.
I go through the song, nailing every word, counting every note, I'm not too bad when I really focus. Of course, I can't really when Evan won't leave my mind, he blocks all my other thoughts. It's funny, he hates being the center of attention, but he won't get out of the spotlight.
I'm just finishing up the song, and taking off my headphones when I hear a clap. Like one of those out of nowhere claps when no one else in the room is. I look towards the door and finally realized I forgot to lock it. And there he is. Standing there, with a goofy smile, looking at me, still clapping. Welp, I'm screwed.
He stops clapping, and says, "I-I didn't k-know you could sing, Jared." I get easily flustered when he's around, plus I'm embarrassed he literally heard me sing an entire song and I didnt even know he was there.
"W-when did you get here?" I try to act unfazed from his sudden visit but it didn't really sound like I hoped it would.
"O-only a few, few minutes, I take a w-walk around here e-every once and a w-while. But nobody h-has ever used it so I was s-surprised when i heard s-singing."
"Oh, well, that's just, uhm, that's great."
"Why didn't you t-tell me?"
"Well, for obvious reasons." I say while I move my hand around in a circular motion.
"Oh."
Shit. I probably shouldn't have said that. "Well, for one, I dont think I'm the best so i would just be embarrassing-"
"That is s-stuoid and you know that, Jar."
Holy shit. The nickname. THE nickname. That just, oh shit that gets me going. I could just feel the heat radiating off my cheeks. I really hope he doesn't notice.
"A-are you okay? Y-you seem r-red."
"Yup! Perfectly fine. I'm cool. I'm definitely cool."
"Uh-huh."
"What, you don't believe me Hansen?"
"I said to s-stop calling me t-that!" He says that while looking away, playing with the hem of his shirt. It's adorable, he does that when he's either anxious or embarrassed. Hopefully it's the second option. I'd hate to make him scared or anything like that.
"So how was it?" I gave a shy laugh as I scratched the back of my head. God I hope he doesn't think I suck. I put a lot of effort into my singing, especially when it's directed to him.
"It was... *mumbles*." I swear he talks so quiet when he's embarrassed.
"Sorry, could you repeat that a little louder?"
"It was amazing." He just straight up says to my face with no stutter, no playing with the hem of his shirt. Damn this boy is going to be the death of me.
I'm going to say something incredibly stupid but I'm still going to give it a shot.
"So are you."
There will be a part 2!
