"No!" I get out of his grasp and run out the door. I ignore all his calling and just run, to the only place I know.
Why did I do that?! God he probably hates me now! Who just runs off like that in the middle of... whatever that was?! I thought I was finally getting past this...
I stop walking. Take a quick glance around. I know this place like the back of my hand, it's like a second home to me...
I sit by the nearest tree, I don't even have the energy to be amazed by it right now...
Did I fuck up? I probably did. And I was really starting to like him too! I mess everything up!
"Why am I such a screw up?!" I yell out, almost as if I would burst if I didn't. I would start screaming again but tears are already falling down my face. I bring my knees to my chest and just grab my hair. Hard. (No time for references because that never happened in this story and it probably never will deal with it).
I'm pulling at my hair, letting the tears flood down, not even caring if anyone sees me. This place is old anyway, there's almost never anyone here. All I focus on is my breathing, the slight breeze, a few leaves falling gracefully on the soft ground.
Life would be so much more simple if I was just a leaf, if I get tired I can just let go of the branch and be free. Aiming for that little puddle. But then when I least expect it, just a little wind can knock me off my course, taking me somewhere completely different. Right under someone's foot.
Then I hear footsteps. I cover my eyes hoping whoever is there won't notice me and will just leave. But that doesn't happen because nothing ever goes the way I want it to. Whoever was walking, I can feel them right in front of me. Probably laughing at the cry baby I am.
That doesn't happen either, they sit next to me, and hold me. I frantically look up to see what kind of stranger is doing this because, you know, stranger danger!
But it's no stranger, it's Jared. He looks down at me and has a frown on his face. He gently puts me back up, takes my hands off of my head, and wipes my tears. He puts me back in his lap, not saying a word.
I put my arms on his shoulders, just kind of a reflex. He puts his around my back, giving me a hug. We just sit there for a few moments, enjoying each other's comfort. Okay obviously I am a bit more but shush it's my story.
A few minutes go by and Jared finally speaks up, "Are you okay now?" His voice is so soft.
"Y-yeah, I think so. F-for the most part."
"Good, you want to tell me what happened?"
I thought about it for a minute, I trust Jared, but how will he react? What if it happens every time we get physical (Don't make a joke don't make a joke don't make a joke)? As I said before, I think I really like Jared but... I mean he's a serial killer, what if I tell him and he tries to find whoever hurt me?
"Yeah. Yeah, I do." I say it before I change my mind. He deserves to know.
"Okay, just take your time. I'm not going anywhere."
"Okay... well uhm, I don't r-really know how to s-start..."
"Okay, that's perfectly fine, how about I ask you questions and you can either answer them or if they're too personal you can just say 'pass'? Will that work?"
"Yeah, probably best..."
"Okay... first off, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm better than I was."
"Great, next question, did I do good on calming you down?"
"Yeah, um really good actually. Not many people know what to do..."
"I'm glad I could help. 3, why did you run here?"
"I... I don't really know. It's just been a second home to me ever since my... it comforts me..."
"Aww, you're adorable."
"I am not adorable... you are."
"Yeah totally, next question. 4, I noticed how you didnt finish that sentence, can I know what you were going to say?"
"... pass..."
"Okay, no problem. 5, is this helping at all?"
"Yeah, it really is. Usually people bombard me with questions without actually caring what I say... they just freak me out..."
"Some people are dicks, but there are others who just want to help."
"I know."
"Good. 6, you don't have to answer this one. I just want to help but I know you might not be ready yet... what happened? I want to know if I did something that made you upset so I don't do it again."
"That... is where I don't know how to start... I uhm, used to date this guy. It was a few years ago, I don't know why the memories started to come back now but I was young, I didn't really know what love was or how it should feel. I thought he was the perfect guy, but he soon turned... into someone else... someone who took advantage of everyone and everything... including me. He would, he would physically a-abuse me, everyday, u-until he got w-what he wanted. It was torture, he made me live with him away from my mom. He was awful!"
I start to break down again. All the memories are just coming back, but there's so many more! Why is this happening to me?!
"Just make it stop! Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!" I hug Jared tighter, desperately trying to get some sort of comfort or peace from all these thoughts. My breathing starts to get rapid.
"Oh my poor Evan... it's okay, I'm here. No one is going to hurt you ever again. I'll make sure of it. You are the most important person to me and I will do everything I can to be there for you, to support you, to calm you down- anything you need. I'll be there... I promise..."
As he talks, he keeps that same comforting voice. It's so soft that if it would ever stop it would break. But what he does next surprises me. He takes one of his hands off my back and holds one of mine. He rubs his thumb on my hand. That almost instantly calms me down. How? I have no clue.
"How are you so good at this?" I let out a small laugh.
"I don't know Evyyyy~"
"Stahhhhp." And I finally smile. Someone can finally make me smile, he's done it before without even trying. I think I'm in love...
"I'm going to kill that bastard if I ever see him."
"I know."
