This definitely isn't my best work but I wanted to put something out before I see my aunt and grandma tomorrow because I'm going to be there the whole day without WiFi. So here's... this. Whatever this is.
And I want to do the 30 day challenge OTP thing so :/ have fun I guess
So this is awkward. Me, my not so secret boyfriend, and my mom are currently sitting in my dining room. I'm sitting next to Jared while my mom sits across from me, so if I get anxious I can hold Jared's hand from under the table. Which might happen a lot and I may have his hand in mine already but that doesn't matter.
"Are you going to explain anything or are we sitting in silence after I had to leave work early?" My mom starts a conversation and I already feel like a mess. She skipped work for this, what if I can't bring myself to say anything? What if I can only sit in very uncomfortable silence when I should be telling her about.. uh how I almost died one night in an abandoned alley?
I sit up as straight as I can, which isn't very much because I'm gay, and clear my throat. "Well, is there anything you would like to know first?" I ask with a shaky voice, staring down at the table. If I don't look at her, I can't see her look of disappointment. Genius idea Evan, real smart. I need to stop having conversations with myself.
"Yes, I thought you weren't over Zoe yet, but now you're with a random boy I've never seen before, care to explain?" Right, that. I never actually told her about how things went with me and Zoe. She found out I was talking to a girl, somehow, and now I'm with a stranger, at least to her.
"A-about that-"
"Zoe? Who's Zoe?" Jared interrupts me and speaks up. Oh sh- I never told him about Zoe either. Great. Wonderful job Evan, really making this whole situation better for yourself. Again seriously?! I can only get a glance at him before averting my eyes away. He's confused, a hint of concern, and something else. Not a good mix.
"It was nothing, I swear!" I blurt out subconsciously and almost immediately regret it. "Ignore that, I meant she was just a crush during the beginning year. I barely talk to her at all anymore after she-," after she rejected me for some other guy. I would say that but I don't want to relive that moment or even remind myself. "She came out as demiromantic or demisexual, I can't remember which one. The point is we weren't /that/ close so there was nothing really there."
No one really talks for a moment so I look up to see my mom shocked and Jared... I don't know what he's feeling. He hides it a lot but my mom has a sad expression on now. "Sorry Evan, that must have been hard." She uses a soft voice as she talks, at least she's talking, Jared has that face when you want to kill someone so that's normal.
"But uh yeah, that's about it. Anyway back to the point," I shake my head and finally look up at her, "Jared, as you've seen before, is now my boyfriend." I squeeze his hand from under the table while I wait for my mom to say anything.
She just smiles. "Well duh, I was you guys kissing in the front office. But are you..?"
I understand what she's trying to say and it's kind of uncomfortable to answer. "We almost did but I uh kind of freaked out and-"
"He didn't do anything right?" She asks with a rushed voice almost, scared if Jared would actually do something like that. I rapidly shake my head.
"No, god no. He isn't like that. If he was I would've turned him in-"
"For what?" Jesus woman stop cutting me off! Jared stares at me wide eyed, finally understanding what she's been talking about.
"For-..." I pause and think for a second, "for sexual assault. Yeah." Hopefully I didn't just mess everything up.
"You would turn in your own boyfriend-"
"We're getting off topic!" I need to stop blurting out things! "Sorry... just let me talk. You can ask questions after but not right now or wewon'tgetanywhere! It's driving me insane keeping this from you!" I practically shout at my own mother as I slam my hands on the table.
My mom is shocked, again, with a bit of anger this time. "What is 'this' that you're keeping from me?" She leans back in her chair and taps her finger on the table.
"Jared is my boyfriend! I'm in love with a serial killer! I can't figure myself out and a creepy guy stared at me after he hit on me!" Now I'm shouting. I didn't even realize I stood up when I yelled. I look at my mom and she's... she looks scared. "Wait wait wait-"
"Who /are/ you?" Her voice isn't stern at all, it's a whisper. The type of whisper you use when you're disappointed in your son.
"...what..?" I sit back down and can't even speak.
"This isn't you, Evan... what happened..?" She leans in closer and places one of her hands on top of mine. I just stare at her hand, she's trying to be comforting but I can't even breathe.
"What... what do you mean what happened? I'm me, I'm still Evan-" what is she even talking about? Nothing happened, I'm still her anxious son who just doesn't take medication now. I don't need to be fixed anymore.
"No you're not... you're out there. You're actually out there after all these years- Evan! You changed!" She starts to laugh with a bright smile, now I'm confused.
"What?"
"You finally put yourself out there!" She stands up and puts her hands in her hair, "dating a serial killer is a bit further than expected but you're out there! You shouted without apologizing!" She keeps laughing while me and now that I look at Jared, he's confused too.
"So you're... okay with me dating-..?" What am I supposed to say right now? That was completely out of the blue and fricken gave me a heart attack for a second.
"Like I said, a bit farther than expected but you've changed!"
"I... I did.." I laugh a little too. I actually did do that, she isn't lying! Oh my god this is amazing!
"Am I missing something?" Clueless Jared. I look back at him and he has a really puzzled face. It's adorable.
"During Highschool I was a shy geek who only had one friend, Alana, you've met her before. I wouldn't go out, I barely talked to anyone, I couldn't say anything without apologizing right after. I was a mess. Then I met you, and you changed me. You made me a better version of myself."
"Oh, uh well that's... that's good..?" He nervously laughs as he looks at me, still with a confused look. I just laugh as I look into his eyes. I'm so lucky I met him. I calm my laughter down and smile at Jared fondly.
"I love you."
