This sucks. I hate it. I tried. Hope you like it.
"What if she doesn't like me? What if I say something and she thinks I'm stupid? What-" Evan as always is rambling on about "what if's" and I can see why. See, I asked Evan to finally meet my mom because I've seen his mom so many times that I can call her Heidi. He was a bit shocked to say the least, I never mention my mom because you know, family issues. Back to the point, meeting your significant other's parents- or parent- can be kind of scary, especially for Evan.
"What if you shut up and stop worrying?" I snicker as he straightens out his shirt for probably the fifth time this minute. I shouldn't have said anything, you know how he is; feeling like he has to in order to make sure he doesn't upset anyone. In this case it would be me but I only offered it, I would never force him. His little bundle of nerves would skyrocket and I would feel like a bigger dick than I already am.
He stops and puts his hands on his sides, he looks so stiff. It's like his own hands are fidget cubes. I sigh and grab both his hands in mine. I look up at him and his eyes scurry around the room, like he's following a fricken mouse in a maze, but it's on fire, and it keeps going back in the same trapped corner. "Hey, don't worry about it. Watch your breathing." I try to reassure him but I don't exactly have his comforting abilities. My voice isn't suited for that as much as his but at least I'm trying. I guess that's what makes Evan slow his breathing. He knows I wouldn't let anything happen.
"Right, okay, I can do this."
...
"I can't do this!"
"Evan c'mon, we're literally at the door. I wasted my gas on this." I try to lighten the mood but unfortunately it's not working. We are at my momma's door but we still have another step until we are actually at the door. I haven't actually called her 'momma' in front of Evan before. I wonder how he'll react, I've been saying it that way my whole life. You know- that doesn't matter. My boyfriend hyperventilating does.
"Can we, can we go back? I can pay for your... your gas. I'm sorry." This doofus thinks I was being serious. I was literally the Joker for Halloween last year. Shut up, me. Evan is just going bonkers at the moment and I'm talking to myself.
"Ev, you need to calm down. She's my mom-," I instinctively stopped myself for some reason and kept talking, "she won't do anything, even if she does let me know. Okay?" I offer a smile and he's hesitant but he nods. "Thank you, now are you going to knock on the door or shall I?" (It sounded funnier in my head). He immediately shakes his head no and I just laugh. I kiss him to calm any remaining nerves and take a deep breath. I turn back to the door and lift my hand. Here goes.
...
"Hello?" My mom peeks her head through the door with a slightly less joyful mood than I expected but maybe it'll get better when she knows it's me.
"Hey, momma." (My hands are cold). She opened the door wider but her mood didn't seem to change much. She looks confused and kind of annoyed. Maybe we came at the wrong time.
"Jared? What are you doing here?" She keeps her hand on the handle and that's something I shouldn't have ignored. She stands tall in front of us, just barely taller than Evan, which is surprising to see. Not many people are taller than the giants themselves. Kidding Ev, love ya.
"We came to visit, I offered Evan to meet you-"
"I wasn't expecting visitors." Okay so maybe I should have called but I was nervous too, I'm just better at hiding it. From what I can see from behind her, her house looks kind of dark. I don't stare too long and try again.
"My bad, I should have called to see if you were busy-"
"I'm not busy." I get cut off again and stare at her. Now I'm confused.
"Then what-"
"Go home Jared."
"U-uhm, I don't know what's going on with you but you're being kind of rude-"
"So?" Ah, yes. Every middle schooler's response in every argument.
"Did something happen?"
"Nothing happened."
"Then why are you-"
"Because I can, now leave me alone." She snaps back and actually starts to close the door! I can't believe it! My own mother! Closing the door on me, wow, and when I thought I saw everything. I close my mouth in disappointment and start to frown. Until Evan steps forward and blocks the door with his foot.
"Excuse me, can you answer something for me?" Evan asks with such a brave face it makes me so proud that I'm dating him. He doesn't break eye contact with her once during the whole eye exchange. His brows are furrowed and he stands still. I look at my mom and she- oh my god she looks so scared! Ha!
"..." She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out.
"I do apologize if we may have caused a minor inconvenience to your day but, I may be biased here, I don't believe the way you are acting is fair to the situation." Since when did Evan know fancy talk? And like no stutter, at all?! He's growing so fast.
"Well-"
"Oh so you didn't lose your voice? Good to know. Now just answer me this, what is your deal?" Evan is demolishing her while I'm just standing here watching it happen, this is fun.
"My deal? Excuse me young man-"
"Are you going to answer this question or are we going to waste our time even more?" Evan is on fire!
"I don't have to answer you." She crosses her arms and purses her lips, getting an even bigger attitude. I honestly didn't expect any of this from my mom but I'm just going with it at this point.
"You don't, you by no means have to do anything we say but by the way things are going now... you might want to watch your mouth." Evan plays a smug look on his face and my mom is just not having it. I don't feel like I should even call her mom at this point.
"Get off of my property or I'm calling the police." She says, as if that scares us. Well not me, I've ran from the cops multiple times. Evan, has not. He clears his throat not trying to show any weakness. He thinks for a moment and pulls his foot back.
"You're right. I'm truly sorry for my actions, we'll be leaving immediately. C'mon Jared." He lowers his voice as he says my name and grabs my hand, taking me away from my... mamma's... house. I look back one last time and give her a look that would break any mother's heart. Because she hurt mine.
