When The Rain Falls (COMPLETED)

PART 2 OF 35

PART 2 OF 35

THE LETTER

I am a suicidal person.

I grew up without my parents guidance. They left me to finish their work abroad but I didn't blame them for leaving me.

I started thinking to commit suicide until my parents came back here in the Philippines.

I was once stunned not knowing what to do. My grandfather punishes me and abusing me. My mental health has been affected. I have no reason to live.

This is just a secret between me and myself. I was always in the middle of committing suicide but I can't still do it. I'm afraid that even when I die, people will think bad at me and will think that suicide is not the answer to my problems.

I tried seeking help but no one came. Even the people who are closest to me. I am alone. 18 years of being alone.

I do have friends but they weren't enough. I look strong and unbothered but the truth is, I am empty.

A rainy evening when I was alone in a dark room. Being tied because my grandfather didn't meet the expectations he wanted from me. I was crying and begging for help. I was scared. The innocent me has been punished by something that I didn't deserve to have.

My grandfather is a monster. He is an addict. A psychopath. That's what I have been describing him. I killed him inside my head. I witnessed how he treated his grandchildren with so much anger. We are all blind. Blind because of our blood.

I'm scared to open up because people always make fun of someone's mental health. They think it was a joke but the truth is, it was already so heavy that a single person can't carry.

I am writing this because I already decided the thing that I should've done before. I will give this to the person that will catch my attention and will make me fall in love while I'm still emptying my empty life.

I may not be the good person but I am always willing to help. I may not be the best person but I am trying to be. I may not be the strongest person but I can be weak to make you strong.

This is a letter with a promise.

Life is hard. There is no easy way that we can encounter in finding our own desires.

And as for me, I don't think I can still live while my heart is aching and my path has been destroyed. I don't know who I am.

To the person who will receive this, please promise me that you will find yourself first before finding someone else.

Promise me that you will check your family and friends and make them feel that they are not alone.

Promise me that you will take care of your mental health and not make fun of others.

Promise me that you will not let others decide something that is not for you.

It's okay to be weak but don't let it affect your whole life.

I am thankful and glad of those times that I have cherished with the people around me. It was hard but it was fun. It hurts but it was still fun.

Please do remember that I am watching you all from above.

If a rain will fall, please think of me. I love rain and I want you to not be afraid of what it brings.

Always remember that there's a rainbow after the rain.

Calyx