authors note: it is currently 3:00AM here...
so i'm sorry for what is about to come
all the love
k.
harrys POV
i was straightening my tie in the mirror. we had just finished sound check and there was an hour before the show started. i walk out finding everyone discussing everything with them one last time. i try and keep my mind off of jordan. her team said they finally have some leads which gave me hope. i was flying back tomorrow morning to see if i could help in any way. we all talk for about ten mintues and part ways. i walk back into my dressing room for a minute and i look at my phone.
holy shit.
i got a call from jordan.
it was five mintues ago and i cant believe i missed it. before playing the voicemail i tried calling her back hoping she might answer but she didnt. i sigh and sit down pressing play on the voicemail not prepared for what i was about to hear.
"harry edward" her voice sounds hoarse. but not quite broken. just the sound of her voice made me want to cry. i've missed it so much it hurt so badly
"i only have ten minutes to tell you how much you mean to me. which is defiantly not enough time but i'm going to try.
first off.
i love you.
harry i love your eyes. the way that they were always bright and filled with joy. how they showed so much emotion. how they lit up when you were preforming or doing something you loved.
i love your lips. how you subconsciously take the bottom one between your teeth when you concentrate. the way they always found mine. the way you would press them so softly to the back of my hand.
i love your hair. i then your mom for naming you harry because i think it suits you well. i love how it was always soft and it smelled good. how i always found my sheds tangled in it. how when we got close, it would tickle my neck
i love your voice. how it's so deep and raspy. god i could listen to you talk all day long bubs. how no matter what song you were singing, you would make it sound beautiful by the way you drew out the melody. i loved waking up to hear you singing.
i love you.
and all the may sound like some cliche shit but it's true.
i love you so much it's hurts harry.
and i know this is hard. i think it's hard for the both of us. but when i'm gone... when i'm gone you need to move on. ok? you have to promise.
you need to move on from me. find someone who makes you happy harry. find someone who can travel with you and be with you. find someone good for you. because we. it's know you deserve it. you can't hold on to me forever. try and remember the good times haz.
but try and let me go.
i didn't think i would every get to say this before my time ended but now i can.
harry you made my life so much better. you filled my life with color. wherever you were you would dine your light upon it. thank you harry.
i'm grateful for you"
she pauses a moment and i hear her take a shaky breath in... "its going to be ok" she whispers so quietly "i love you" and i hear a gunshot.
"NO!" i yell out immeadiatly at my phone and sara and mitch some in as im on my knees in tears. this isn't fair. this isn't fucking fair. she couldn't be gone. no. shes not gone. i cant let her go yet. they kneel on the floor and ask whats wrong. mitch takes my phone and quickly walks out and a few minutes later he comes back in.
"she cant be gone" i cry into my hands not caring what anyone thinks "she cant be" i feel like repeating it might somehow help and bring her back
"harry im so sorry" sara says
"im sorry can i have some alone time?" i ask
"of course" a second later i hear the door close quietly and i sit on the ground for i dont know how long. i try and replay everything but its all a blurr.
i should have done something more to protect her. i could've. then she would be here. she would be here with me right now. but shes not. i sit on the ground letting everything out until i hear a knock on my door. i slowly stand up opening it to find jeffery.
"harry...."
"please don't say sorry" i say. i know he only meant well but sorry wasnt going to make the hurting go away.
"ok" he says softer and give me a quick hug "i just... i wanted to tell you we're going on in five"
i nod my head thanking him and closing the door. i try and take some deep breaths. i didn't want to preform tonight because i know that i would be a wreck on stage but that wouldn't be fair to all the people waiting out there. i wipe my eyes and rub them trying to make the red go away. i straighten my suit. i tilt my head back for a second and try and keep my breath steady. i finally turn the door handle and walk out.
i tried. i tried so fucking hard to keep it all in on stage. but falling was my last song and i couldn't do it.
"im in my bed
and you're not here"
never again. she wouldn't be there ever again. all that's left of her is just a memory.
"forget what i said
its not what i meant"
i just wanted to take back all the harsh words i had ever said to her
"and im well aware i write too many songs about you"
i knew that. this song. this paticluar song i wrote when we were last apart. but now its not temporary
it was so hard finishing the song.
sams POV
we got the call. we got the fucking call. we heard everything jordan said to harry and we were all driving to her location. we were about two minutes out and we were trying to keep it all together. a small part of me wanted to believe she was ok. that the bullet didnt go through her skull. i had only known her a little over two years but she became family. and it hurt. i couldnt imagine what everyone else was going through. much less harry. he was flying in tonight after his show. he told us he changed the flight time. we were all a little bit broken inside.
we pulled up to a large warehouse and right away we're all running out. i bust the door open and run in. alexandra spotted her first
"SHES OVER HERE!" we hear her yell out
"theres a car pulling out" i hear in my earpiece
"team 2 go" i hear sebastian say and a group of people run out and into a couple of cars. i run over to jordans still body. shes bleeding out of her side badly laying in a pool of her own blood. paramedics run in and lift her up onto a stretcher.
"is she breathing?" jonsie asks hopefully
one of them looks up to us as we're running to the ambulance that theyre lifting her her into
"is she breathing?" i ask a ilittle more firmly as they all hop in
"....no" he says and closes the door and they drive off quickly to the hospital
