jordans POV
we found ourselves back at the hotel, harry was in the shower and i was laying in bed hugging his pillow. i was tired but i didn't want the day to be over. we were here a couple more days and i didn't wasnt to miss any oppritunity to spend time with harry. i didn't even know what was planned for the next days. harry wouldn't tell me. he says "it was a surprise and i was being impatient".
whatever.
i guess as long as we do it together its fine.
unless it's a photo shoot.
i hate photo shoots.
i am the most unphotogenic person ever.
lately i've been finding myself thinking of all this chesy shit. i have the thoughts of a teenage girl who isnin a highschool realtionship drama series. never in a million years would i have actually thought i would be thinking these things. like going to paris and walking down the streets looking towards the eiffel tower. stealing little kisses here and there.
i guess relationships do that to you.
harry is out of the shower after a few minutes and he crawls under the covers laying his head on my chest.
recently i had been thinking a lot. how i truly was the luckiest person in the whole world.
somehow i showed up at the right coffee shop at the right time in the right country and i met harry. i hadn't even really known who he was until i looked him up on the internet. i think that theres some statistic that you're more likely to meet a celebrity if you dont know them. i guess that was me.
but i think about all the girls who wish so hard to be in my position. most girls don't even want to date harry. they just want to be friends with him. but he's here. he's with me. out of everyone in the world he chose me. i dont know why. he could have had anyone else but he chose me. i don't think i will ever truly understand his reasoning.
i'm not going to say i ddint believe in love before i met harry. i guess, really, i didn't think i could have ever loved someone as much. i used to think it was weird when my mom had told me how much she had loved my dad when they got married and how their love for each other was so strong. but then they got a divorce and i questioned everything.
i think it was because i didn't think i was capable of loving someone so much.
when i was growing up i only loved a couple of people. i distanced myself from most people because i was scared of getting hurt.
my brothers were the closest people to me. then they enlisted in the marines and i distanced myslef from them. i thought it would be easier from me if something were to happen.
i stopped loving because of fear.
i thought i was saving myself but in reality i was just doing damage.
if i had one wish it would be to go back and tell myself not to be afraid to love people more.
but when i met harry and the rest of the boys i realized that my view on love was seriously fucked up.
when you find the truly good people in life, you just can't not love them. in a way you have to let your fear go. you have to know that they're there for you as much as you are for them.
you can't let fear stop you from loving the ones you truly care about.
and now im here with harry. like i was telling harry, this job is risky. and with it i had one wish. and that is when i die, i don't want to think i didn't tell harry how much he meant to me.
sure i told him i loved him every day. but did i tell him how i really feel?
how much i apprecieated him when we were younger. how i am still thankful to this day that he came up to me in that coffee shop that one august day. how he changed my life for the better. how i was so greatful for him. how, when i felt like the loneliest person in the world he would drop by with movies and ice cream and make all of that go away. how much i truly did love him.
"harry?"
"hmmmm?" his voice vibrated my stomach where he was resting his head
"i love you, you know that right?"
he looks up at me through his thick eyelashes, "of course i do"
"im just making sure"
he pulls the corners of his lips up smiling and laying his head back down while i thread my hands through his soft curls.
"also harry?"
"yes love?"
"can you please tell me what we're doing tomorrow?"
i hear him laugh and wrap his arms a little bit tighter
"you just don't give up do you?"
"i get my stubborness from you"
"fine i'll give you a hint, it involves shopping"
"shopping for what?'
"thats the surprise"
"you barely told me anything"
"i told you what i wanted to tell you" i feel him shake his head and i roll my eyes
"how about twenty questions?"
"...ok"
"is it for food?"
"maybe"
"is it for clothes?"
"might be"
i groan "do you even know the point of twenty questions? you answer yes or no"
"guess i missed that part" he presses his face to my stomach and i feel him smile
"you're so annoying harry"
"yea i know"
i scoot down a bit more on the bed laying down fully wrapping my arms more firmly around harry and tangling my hands in his hair even more.
i lean down and press a kiss to his head thinking about how lucky i was to be here right now.
i was dying of curiosity to know what he had planned for tomorrow. shopping? shopping for what? clothes? food? i didn't need clothes though. i wouldn't let him buy me any. i already had enough. but if it was food i guess i would be satisfied. what if its not either of those? what if hes just saying that but he has a totally different plan? sightseeing? i had never been to paris so maybe he just wanted to show me around or something. but its harry we're talking about. he proabaly has this big thing planned even though he knows i like simplistic things better.
for my birthday a few years ago he gathered a bunch of my friends and threw a surpsie party, but i think smaller is better. for most things. spending my birthday with just him and the boys with some shitty movies would have been just as great. but you know its harry and he says 'im worth all the trouble he goes through'.
hes the most stubborn person i know ad i know i couldn't change his mind about it so i just let it be.
right no whis breathing was soft and steady and i knew he fell asleep.
"i love you" i whispered in the dark and closed my eyes falling into a peaceful sleep right along with him.
