i forced myself to write this y'all and i'm sorry it took so long....
all the love
k.
jordans POV
we were on our flight headed to france. i don't know how he convinced me to drop everything and go. i mean i couldn't even work right now and i guess a little break from everything would be good. but i also wanted updates from the team. but chief angie said she wouldn't let me work for a month if i didn't go. so here we are.
harry has fallen asleep his head in my lap while i ran my fingers through his hair. my earbuds were in and i was listening to fine line.
i've always loved music. especially harry's. his music had a way of captivating you. like once you've listened to it, it's all you want to listen to. he has the most beautiful voice ever. you could listen to it over and over again and not get tired of it. i was very proud of him. i know he's worked so hard and it's not easy being a songwriter. i've never written a song before but i know that it wasn't the easiest job. because your career depends on wether you have the creative ability to write something new and good. plus there's all the worry about wether someone is going to like your music or not.
we had a few more hours left in the flight and he stayed asleep for most of it. i know it's been a busy couple of days. both physically and mentally for the both of us. my arm was still in a sling healing. it didn't hurt as much but it was definitely stiff. i had to wear it for another week. but the healing process was going good. i just couldn't get my heart rate up.
this past day i've had a lot of time to think about it what had happened. apparently the guys they caught were apart of a bigger crime ring. they didn't know what they wanted. they didn't know why they were here. guys like them were trained for interrogation. they knew how to respond with information that wasn't actually helpful. guys like this were dangerous.
i wasn't very much help in giving the police information because most of the time they were beating me or i was unconscious. it was frustrating because i could only remember bits and pieces of the whole thing.
my whole body was pretty sore. i don't even remember half of the things they did but i have bruises to show it. harry had to be escorted out from the interview viewing box because he almost killed the criminals himself.
i think that for me it's not going to be the physical pain to get over but the mental pain. you never know true death until it stated you right in the face. and for me that happened. i was so ready to give everything up. i had made my phone call to harry and i was intending that to be my last words. i knew they were going to shoot me after that. at least that's what they told me. but they didn't intent on my staying alive.
after i had woken up from consciousness after the surgery my doctor told me i almost didn't make it several times. i guess my body kept fighting. i don't know what for but i was glad it did.
sometimes i wonder what everyone would be doing right now if i was dead. would they be crying? would they resume their work and go on with their every day lives? what would have happened?
it's when you're on the brink of life and death itself they you think of these things. like those split seconds before your body decides to quit is when you think the most. did i have an impact on the world? will anyone miss me? what's going to happen after this?
i didn't know. but i know i didn't want to almost die again anytime soon.
after i woke up harry totally lost it. he never left my side. he didn't even say much which i understood. i guess he was mad because i left. i mean i would have been to. he made me promise never to do anything like that again.
but i did it for sam.
sam came in separately. he didn't cry but i could tell he was upset. he asked me why i did it. why i would give myself up for him. he told me he was worried and how he couldn't have lived with himself if he was the reason that i was gone. he went on a long rant about "how i should think about my own safety and how he could've handled that". but he said he was also thankful.
that's another thing to think about. why did i go for sam? i could've just stayed with harry and helped from there. i could've just let my team try and find him. but i know deep down i couldn't have done that. sam... he's one of my best friends and i couldn't have just stayed in LA having a good time while i knew he was probably going through hell. i had to do something about it. when i was younger my mom always told me that my heart for others was going to get me hurt. and i guess she was right in some way.
i got to call james and will and tell them what happened. they said they were glad i was safe and that they could come home soon to see me.
but now i was going to relax. no work or anything to think about. a whole week. harry said he had things planned to keep us busy. i was going to try really hard to enjoy our time and not think about anything else.
he said he also had something really special planned for our two year anniversary which i kind of forgot about.
"ladies and gentleman we will be landing in a few minutes so please fasten your seatbelts" i heard over the PA system
"harry" i say and remove my hand from his hair
"hmmm?"
"time to get up, you need to put your seatbelt on"
"i'm too tired"
"harry get up now, you don't want to die in an airplane crash because you didn't have your seatbelt on"
he sits up and looks at me
"a bit dramatic aren't we" he says but he's smiling.
"just put your seatbelt on" i roll my eyes and hear him do so
i take out my earbuds and lean back against his chest as he wraps his arms around me.
"JJ this whole time just take a break and relax, no work or anything"
"i know i'll try haz"
i feel him press a kiss to the top of my head.
"did you pack something nice to wear?" he asks after a moment
"what do you mean by nice?"
"not you kind of nice"
"what's wrong with my kind of nice?" i fake pout
"jordan your version of nice is sweatpants and a t-shirt"
"so?"
"never mind" he sighs
"yes harry i brought something nice, your kind of nice too"
"thank you"
"you don't have to thank me, you're the one who told me to bring it" i shake my head slightly
"i know. but i'm thanking you because you actually did it"
"only for you"
he smiles down at me and i grab one of his hands in both of mine.
"ladies and gentlemen we are now landing in paris france"
