Sirens Eye || A Kylo/Ben X Reader Fic ||

Chapter 8: Hollow Bodies

You had spent the weekend explaining everything to Leia while still trying to wrap your head around everything yourself. She was so understanding that it sort of suffocated you even more. And you weren't sure why.

Sunday night you were laying across her lap on the couch, and she was braiding your hair again. You always liked when people played with your hair. It made you feel safe, secure, and relaxed.

She was saying that maybe he just freaked out after everything happened, and wasn't sure how to react. But he seemed to know exactly what he was doing, and he did ask you to go back to his office tomorrow after work. You still weren't sure if you were going to listen to him.

"His touch was electrifying Leia, I've never felt anything like it before." Your eyes were shut as she continued to play with your hair.

"I've always felt that something in my life was missing, that I was hollow. And the people I've been with in the past have just been bodies. Incomplete, no soul connection. But being with him, around him, kissing him, and..." you shifted, opening your eyes, "well it just felt like finally I was whole, that I had found someone who had a soul that matched the passion in mine. He feels like the missing piece, finally found and put into place." You sat up and she was smiling at you.

"What?" You asked sheepishly.

"Girl, if I know anything about anyone, it's when they've found the other half of their soul. People say that everyone is born with only one half of their soul, and throughout their lives they spend time trying to find their missing half. I think you've found yours..." She placed her hands on yours and looked into your eyes,

"Don't tell me how things feel, tell me how they are." She pulled you in for a hug and you absorbed her words, letting them dissolve into your mind and settle into the crevices of your pain.

"It's only been a week Leia. And there hasn't been much talking, what with everything else we were doing. I'm going to do it, I have to talk to him." You smiled a little bit. You could feel the hurt floating away as your body welcomed the warm sensation back.

Leia always knew what to say to make you feel better. You hoped she was right about everything. And you hoped that he felt the same way about you. You had never felt this way before, ever.

The two of you decided that you would wear a dress (a long one cause Starbucks dress-code)––with no panties–– tomorrow and that you would go to his office. But nothing would happen until you talked things out first. You were going to be in charge this time.

She hugged you again and you went to bed while she stayed up watching her program.

You felt good. Your confidence lifted, you were focussed and motivated. You had a mission. And you could not fail, for the sake of your humanity.

You were lying in bed when your phone buzzed.

Mum: hey sweetie, how was your weekend? Ready for work tomorrow?

You: hi mum, yeah it was good. Leia and I really uh, bonded this weekend haha. Yeah I am, just in bed now actually

Mum: that's good, gotta let me know if you see that handsome professor again (;

Oh god.

Dad: no, no boys. Focus on your studies, but tell me how the Greek class is going! I've been researching it myself, and have even contacted some of my old buddies about it

Your dad was a retired European History professor, yet another trait you got from him. You both loved history so much, that's the whole reason why you chose it as your major, and chose to attend Alderaan. You dad graduated from here and went on to have an insanely successful career. He was your whole inspiration. He, and your mum, have always supported you with everything.

You: that's cool dad, I'm glad! I'm gonna head to bed. Love and miss you so much xoxo

Dad: goodnight baby, love u too

You checked to make sure your alarm was set, and you fell asleep, hopeful.

––

You woke up to your alarm at 5:00am and went to go shower. You let the hot steam cloud your sight while you washed your hair, face, and body. You got out and moisturized with coconut scented lotion. You blow-dried your hair as best you could and put a little makeup on. Mascara and some concealer to try and hide the marks Kylo left from Friday.

Putting your dress on with no panties felt weird, especially since you'd be working all day without them on. The thought made you shudder. You felt a little embarrassed, but your dress was more than long enough to cover everything.

You looked into the mirror and reminded yourself. You have a mission to complete today. You're not going to let anything or anyone get in your way. Not today.

You grabbed your cardigan and your backpack and you headed to work.

You and Pax set up the store in silence. You knew he could sense that something was up with you, but you didn't have the energy––or focus–– to tell him everything right now. You promised yourself that you would though, just not right now.

The first hour was slow, you figured that, with it being the first Monday back, people would still be adjusting to their new schedules and whatnot.

With two minutes to 7 o'clock, you turned to Pax.

"Hey, can we switch? I wanna be on bar for a bit," you motioned to the espresso machines, giving him a fake smile.

He looked at you questionably, but agreed nonetheless. Pax was such a great manager, and he was one of your best friends. You doubled your promise to tell him everything once you figured it out for yourself.

In the minute before Kylo came, three other people showed up and ordered drinks that would surely keep you busy while he was at the till with Pax.

You peaked over your shoulder when 7:00am hit and sure enough, Kylo was at the till. The expression on his face was a combination of disappointment and anger? Ugh.

You spun around and continued making your drinks without looking at him. You reminded yourself again. You're in charge today, he doesn't get to speak to you until you want him to.

After you finished making the three drinks you turned around and thank the Maker, Kylo was gone. Pax turned to you,

"You wanna tell me what that was about kid?"

"Pax, I promise I will tomorrow okay? I just need to figure some things out." You looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Okay, you better. Cause biiiitch he was moody today let me tell you!" You felt relieved, and slightly like you didn't deserve to have him, and Leia, as such amazing friends.

––

The rest of your shift went by normally, making drinks, taking orders, prepping food and whatnot. 2:30 actually came faster than you anticipated and you clocked out. Before heading down to Kylo's office you went to the bathroom to prepare yourself.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, grabbing either side of the sink while you gave yourself a little pep-talk,

"You have got this. You are going to go in there, without knocking, and demand that he listen to you. You are powerful, you are in charge, and you are making the rules today. You will not give in to him until you're satisfied with your conversation. And you will not let him touch you until you say so. YOU HAVE GOT THIS."

As you were walking down the hallway to his office, all of your confidence suddenly dissipated and you thought, fuck, I seriously DO NOT go this.

Authors Note: Another shorter chapter I'M SORRY OKAY. Bear with me pls! I have also decided that this fic is 100% be longer than 15 chapters! So YAY for that! Boo for MC loosing her confidence, but IF THAT AIN'T ME.

-Meg xx