Sirens Eye || A Kylo/Ben X Reader Fic ||

Chapter 18: Defense

You were sitting on the leather chair in front of the window in Kylo's room, dangling over the arm so you could watch him get dressed. His back was to you, but your mouth fell open in awe as you watched his back muscles flex as he bent and pulled up his pants. You watched his arms move fluidly as he put on his t-shirt, his biceps stiffening and relaxing. His body was a work of art in motion.

"What are we doing today?" You asked as you twirled a piece of wet hair around your finger.

He turned around, "what would you like to do today Sweetheart?"

You thought for a moment. You still wanted to know more. Kylo had opened up to you so much, and you were grateful for it, but you couldn't help but feel unsatisfied still.

Your mind filtered through the past 12 hours––

Dinner with Kylo, when you felt as if nothing could go wrong. And then it did. It went so horribly wrong that you still couldn't comprehend that it actually happened.

Being caught, grabbed, and then dragged into the basement. Thrown on the floor. Chained up. Slapped. Hurt. So hurt. Desperate. Desperate for him to let you in. Strong. Weak. Scared. Confident. Anger. Hatred. Sadness. Understanding. More hurt, but for a different reason. Empathy. Yes, empathy above all. Compassion. And, finally, love.

You had to fight with yourself over the last 12 hours. Your mind cursing you for forgiving Kylo so easily. But your heart and soul telling you that you did the right thing. How were you to know who was right? Despite every warning that was going off in your head about Kylo, the way he looked at you when he told you about his parents made every bad feeling fizzle away.

He was hurting. So bad. He had never been shown the sort of affection and compassion that a child should have. He was never taught how to deal with his demons, how to face them, how to smite them. He was taught to accept them, to listen to them, to trust them. You knew he couldn't change his whole entire being in two months. It would take time. And you were willing to wait. For him, you'd wait an eternity.

You had seen some of his outbursts before. This was just the first time that it had happened to you. You honestly figured it would happen sooner rather than later. What with you pushing him, and him growing to want to open up to you. You were ready, you were. You just weren't expecting it to happen the first fucking night.

You forgave him, because he deserved it, he needed it.

He finally found someone to give him what he needs. Unconditional love, understanding, patience. He had had enough people in his life run when things got hard. He had had enough people in his life disregard him, ignore him, neglect him. He had had enough of sorrow, sadness, anger, and frustration in his life. He needed someone who would introduce his soul to happiness, joy, affection, and love. All of the things he had never had before. You wanted to be that person for him.

––He cleared his throat, you looked up. He was fully dressed now, looking at you with a cocked eyebrow.

"Can we go for a walk? Through the acreage?" You asked him, your eyes filled with wonder.

"That sounds perfect. I'll make us some coffee before we head out. It's cold today." He turned, heading out towards the kitchen. You got up, grabbed your boots and coat, and followed him.

The smell of fresh coffee filled your nostrils. Kylo grabbed some Bailey's from his liquor cabinet and poured a couple ounces into your travel mugs. The heavenly scent filled the kitchen and you inhaled. Your senses tingling.

You put your coat and boots on, Kylo followed, then gave you your mug of Bailey's and coffee. You took a small sip, letting the hot liquid travel down your esophagus. He opened the door for you and the cold wind knocked your breath from your lungs.