Sirens Eye || A Kylo/Ben X Reader Fic ||

Chapter 42: Enough

–– A few days later, back in Alderaan...

You held the envelope in your trembling hands, sweat threatening to stain the white paper. You'd just gotten back to Alderaan and your mail had been waiting for you.

Your letter from the Students Abroad committee was in the pile, whether acceptance or rejection you weren't sure yet. You were too nervous to open it, and you still hadn't told Ben about it yet. Not that you were going if you did get accepted.

You sighed. Leia and Han wouldn't be back till next week, when the semester actually starts. But Ben had to come back this week because he's faculty, and you decided to come back with him.

He'd gone straight to campus for a meeting, so you were alone in your dorm once again. It felt cold. Foreign. You weren't sure how you'd survive living here for another four months. Away from Ben.

Now that you weren't in any of Ben's classes this semester, you both had to be careful when you saw each other and how much time you spent together in the public eye. You both agreed that you should really only see each other whenever he comes to Starbucks during school hours/on campus. Anything more would be too suspicious.

You hated it. But you knew you had to do it.

Maybe going away for a semester would make it easier. You wouldn't have to fight yourself to stay away from him. You clutched the envelope in your hands, crinkling the pristine paper.

Another sigh.

You quickly shut your eyes and ripped open the envelope, opening the letter without peeking. You smoothed out the paper and opened one eye, just to make sure the paper was the right way before shutting it again. You held onto the paper with new resolve, though unsure of what for.

You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself before slowly opening your eyes. You let them focus on the words in front of you and you scanned the letter.

You skimmed over the casualties, addressing you and your application status. Blah, blah, blah.

Then–

"Congratulations! You're application to the 'Students Abroad: Greece!' has been accepted..."

You froze. You weren't surprised, what with your grades, your family, etc... But still? You were shocked that your plea to leave Alderaan was heard and granted.

What were you going to tell Ben now? You had to tell him. But first you had to decide if you were going or not.

You went to call your mum, but as soon as you picked up your phone it started ringing: Ben Solo popped up on your screen and you started to sweat again as you clicked the green button.

"Hello?"

"What's wrong?"

Fucks sake, he always knows.

"Uhm, nothing. You done your meeting?" Your voice was still shaky.

"Mhm. Yes, it was quick. Is there anyone in your building?"

He didn't believe you, of course.

"Uh no, I don't think so. It's too early still and anyone who stayed over the holidays stayed in Kamino."

"Okay good," he sounded out of breath.

"Why?"

"I'm here, buzz me in."

Just then your landline phone in your dorm rang, making you jump.

"Jesus seriously?" You went to click the accept button on the landline, pressing the pound key to open the door downstairs.