Sirens Eye || A Kylo/Ben X Reader Fic ||

Chapter 16: Full Circle

Authors Note: Okay so I got a couple comments about my last chapter, saying that abusive!kylo was too violent, and the fact that MC forgave him right away was sickening. I try and convey Kylo's character, but he is incredibly difficult to write. There are many other (AMAZING) fics where Kylo is a lot more violent and cruel than what I wrote. It is his character. I put warnings before any of my triggering chapters, so if you read beyond them, that is your fault. I will not apologize for writing what I want. If it's not your cup of tea than don't read it please! And PLEASE keep the negativity to yourselves. If I want criticism then I will ask for it. Otherwise it is 100% unwanted and at that point an insult. Please read with caution if I have put warnings! Thank you and be safe you guys xoxo

–– Kylo's POV

She was still trembling. Whether out of fear or affection he wasn't sure. He lay behind her, holding her close to him as they sat in his massive soaker tub. The warm water not settling his nerves. The bubbles fizzing as they disintegrated into the water. Her body radiating heat against his frigid skin.

He should feel relieved, excited, happy even. But his demons wouldn't let him. He'd already disobeyed them by telling her that he loved her. That was most definitely against the rules laid out by his demons. They'd set out to control him, shape his nature into something that was impenetrable. Something that would obtain control and power and wealth. Exactly what Anakin wanted.

No matter how hard Rian tried to reverse what Anakin had done, it was no use. There was too much darkness in Kylo. Until he met Sweetheart, he had no reason to open his heart. Just as quickly as she had punctured his soul, she was simultaneously mending it at the same time.

Kylo's heart hurt. Flashes of Doll's scared face in the basement flooded his closed eyelids, her screams and pleads. He never wanted to hurt her. Ever. For a moment, his demons were overpowering him. His heart hurt. Cries and sobs swarmed his ear drums and he could feel her tears on his skin. He'd done that to her. He'd hurt her. He thought that surely she'd leave him for good. But then she didn't. She understood, even when he didn't understand himself.

That is why. Yes. That is why I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her.

It won't be easy, he thought to himself. He'd have to work even harder to suppress the chaos within himself. But he would do it. He'd give up all of his power and his wealth for her. She is worth it all. The pain, the struggle, everything. She is my everything.

She shifted in the tub and pulled Kylo from his inner babble. She turned her head and looked up at him. Her eyes were dark, tired, exhausted. But still she glowed with happiness. Her glasses fogged up the tiniest bit from the steam. Kylo could see the faint pink outline of his handprint on her face. He winced and grabbed a microfibre towel, dipping it into the hot water.

He brought it up to her cheek, and she took her glasses off letting him place the soft towel on her mark. She brought her hand up and cupped his on her cheek, nuzzling into it. She sighed, a small sound. Her eyes found his. He looked at her with pure adoration. Feeding off her forgiveness and understanding.

He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve her. Yet here she was, pledging herself to him unapologetically. He swiped the cloth on her cheek carefully, coaxing out the pain. He removed it, and planted a thousand tiny kisses along the mark. His lips desperately trying to erase what he'd done.

She hummed happily, leaning into him as he smothered her with affection. He wasn't so sure if he was doing it right. Being affectionate. He had never done it before. No one taught him how or showed him any form of kindness. He hoped he was doing it right. He needed it to be right, for her. He'd learn anything for her. She was unknowingly teaching him, she had been since they first formally spoke.