Sirens Eye || A Kylo/Ben X Reader Fic ||

Chapter 17: Permission

TW: if you don't like ROUGH ANAL SEX then don't read this chapter. That's all lol.

–– Kylo's POV

Sweetheart had moved a few times, she was facing away from him now, but he still had his arm around her. Her bum had wiggled its way to his leg, pressed up against it hard. It was so plump and soft. He slowly took his arm from underneath her head, turning on his side he peeked over her shoulders. Her face was squished with her arm, her mouth parted slightly. Little snores escaping her throat.

She is so fucking cute.

He brushed some hair from her face and stroked her arm. He kissed her shoulder and got out of bed. He went to the bathroom, splashed cold water in his face and looked in the mirror. The bags under his eyes were so dark he looked like he'd been punched in the face. Yeah, punched in the face by love, he thought and chuckled softly.

He got into some loose shorts and tossed on a tank-top. He went downstairs and grabbed a protein bar and a glass of water then headed into the basement.

Kylo had a vigorous workout routine and he usually worked out twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Though the past couple of months he really only did mornings. He got to the bottom of the stairs and flicked the light on. He looked down onto the mat, seeing the chain and cuff still where he had left them. Rage flooded over him.

He marched over, and grabbed the chain. He was absolutely fuming. Still so angry and disgusted with himself. He yanked on the chain, hard. Once, twice, and the third time he ripped it right from the concrete. Pieces of stone flying into the air, a blasting sound echoing off the unfinished basement walls. He was breathing hard. Fist clenched around the chain he threw it at one of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors that covered the walls behind the mat.

The glass shattered and broke into a million pieces, crumbling and falling to the floor in defeat. Kylo sank to his knees along with them. He clutched his face in his hands, his fingers trembling and fisting themselves through his hair, wet with sweat. He sat like that for a long time. Waiting to see if he had woken Sweetheart. But she never came, he never heard her calling him. So he assumed through all the closed door and her deep sleep that she hadn't heard his outburst.

He went to the kitchen and grabbed a broom and dust-pan. Slowly he started sweeping up his mess, silently cursing to himself and his anger issues. His home was old, built in the 70s. But everything inside it was new. Mostly upgrades and whatnot, but a lot of it was because he had destroyed much of it too. A hole in the wall here, broken table or chairs there, smashed windows and mirrors. He couldn't control it sometimes.

It was like his demons would just scream at him, egg him on and not stop until he had had enough. Just to shut them up he'd throw something or smash something. Then when the adrenalin cleared, the demons were gone. And he'd be left in peace, but having to clean up one mess or another. He was fine living like this, but now that Sweetheart was in his life, and in his house, he swore to himself to be more careful. To think about things before he acts. He'd try his best, and he hoped that it would be enough. For her.

After cleaning up the broken glass, vacuuming any leftover small pieces, he did his workout as normal. Checking his watch: 8:52am. He went upstairs, grabbed a banana and carefully puttered over to his bedroom. He opened the door slowly, peering in to see that the drapes were still closed. He waited for his eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness and he saw Doll, still sleeping. She had completely star-fished across the bed, her arms and legs reaching each corner as she lie on her stomach. Her face still squished, this time in between his pillow and her own.

He sighed and smiled. He walked over to her and smoothed his thumb over her cheek, tracing her lips and tucking her unruly hair behind her ears. He kissed her on the cheek again, lingering this time. Breathing in her soul.