the stranger [h.s]

43

Songs for this chapter -

Heart wants what it want - Selena Gomez

Give me love - Ed Sheeran
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( Double update!! like I said in the last chapter this is all just their thoughts. before I start I'm gonna say that it's going to sound like they are rambling the whole time. That is how it is supposed to be, it's their thoughts. Also, Harry's part is a lot longer than Collins just because we haven't been able to see Harry's thoughts like we've been able to see Collins. )

Harry POV:

How could I? How could I possibly be so ignorant and selfish.

Collins is all I want, she's more than I want honestly.

I can't stand knowing she won't be mine, that there is no chance of us again. I completely blew any chance of us being together again.

For three damn months she was all that consumed my thoughts.
'Who was she'
'I have to see her again.'
'She's all I want.'

And now I can't have her.

I didn't allow my self to trust, which was completely dumb of me. I know Collins wouldn't ever hurt me. She cared about me more than any girl I've dated.

Niall is right, Im a ass hole. I had to listen to his lecture the whole ride back home last night. He told me straight up what he thought. He told me that girls like Collins don't come around very often, which is true. He also told me that dumb to let her get away, which is also true.

If I was able to take everything back I would. I would do anything to have her in my arms again.

I had never felt anything even close to love until I met Collins. Now, I know what love feels like. It's amazing and terrible all in one.

I know I love Collins, I know for a fact I do. I love the way she cares about everyone around her before she thinks about caring about herself. She is able to smile and light up the room, her laugh is a beautiful song that I wish I could have on repeat. Her personality was priceless, one that is hard to find. All of her actions were so gentle and loving, each having care behind them. She never wanted to hurt anyone, she didn't like the feeling of someone being angry or upset with her nor did she like being upset at someone else. She worries to much, she also overthinks on a daily basis. Collins was so beautiful I can't put it into words. I've never met anyone even close to being like her and I let her go.

In the past, I've always gotten hurt. I've always been used or not cared for. I'm still frightened by it. I haven't allowed my self to open up quite yet.

I know I can trust Collins with anything. I know she only has positive intentions, she would never purposely hurt me.

When I called my 'friend' to be my 'date' to the club, I did it with bad intentions.

I never wanted go hurt Collins as bad as I did, but sadly I did.

Through out the night, I kept drinking and drinking just trying to get her off my mind. It hardly worked. She wouldn't leave my thoughts.

This is all my fault, if I would allow myself to trust we would be together right now.

I loved everything about her, literally everything. She was perfect in my eyes.

Never have I ever had feeling like this.

I've messed up so much through out our relationship, first trying to make her jealous with her own damn best friend. Second, keeping the tour information from her and then this.

Tour is going to be tough when I can relate every damn song to her and our relationship.

Hell, I almost fell apart when we preformed ready to run a couple of days ago. Then, when the photo of us came up I was speechless. I blanked out, I couldn't speak. It hurt. It hurt knowing thousands of people were going to know how badly I screwed up when I could hardly deal with Collins knowing it.

Collins helped me in more ways than imaginable. I opened up more than I have in a while, I was more comfortable with my self along with my actions. She was perfect for me.

Have I had my heart broken before? Oh yeah, but nothing has ever compared to this. I have never endured the hurt I am at the moment.

I've been a mess ever since that dreadful afternoon. I wake up every morning with puffy eyes and a stuffy nose from hours of crying the night before. Everytime I close my eyes, she's there. Anytime I hear a certain song she loved or reminds me of her, I crumble to pieces.

I can't let her go, not this easy. I need her. I need us to be together.

I love her way too much for this to just end.

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Collins POV:

That gorgeous asshole.

I freaking love Harry. Why has it taken me so long to figure that out?

I care about him more than I have ever cared about anything.

The way we met was crazy. But then when we found each other again, it's like it was meant to be. I don't think we happen to find each other again.

Harry makes me so damn mad to the point I want to pull my hair out but he also is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.

Even though we've technically have known each other for only 2 months, I can't imagine it without him.

I love the feeling of myself in his arms, my lips on his and sound of his heartbeat when I lay my head on his chest.

I don't understand why he didn't trust me. I think that's what hurt the most. I know I would never do anything to hurt him, he should know that too.

Basically Harry is something I have to pray and think about.

But, If I know anything it's that I'm in love with Harry and that I can't let him go.

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if I don't update before Christmas I hope you all have an amazing Christmas!!!!!

idk was that boring to read?

I felt like I needed to get Harry's thoughts out since we know so much of Collins.