Relief • (Sixx:A.M)

Help Is On The Way

DJ's P.O.V:

Out of the corner of my eye, I could swear I see James doing burpees.

At 3 in the fuckin' morning.

I gulp nervously, as I walk back to my bed from the bathroom. I sit on top of the mattress, cross legged, with my head in my hands.

I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I don't know if I should tell Nikki about this. My head is spinning with so many thoughts and questions right now. It feels like a tornado.

Why is he doing this?! I don't fuckin' get it!

I don't understand what's happening!

Do I finally talk to Nikki about this or am I just crazy?

I don't want James to freak out on me if I say something, but I'm fuckin' scared as shit!

Is this why he fainted?

Has he been doing this every fuckin' night?!

For hours??

The ocean of thoughts are starting to get overwhelming and I could feel a lump beginning to form in my throat, and soon tears start to drip down my face.

Am I seriously crying right now? My god, DJ, get a grip!

I'm trying not to make noise because I'm fuckin' embarrassed right now, and I don't want anyone to know that I'm crying... at the same time, I know there's no way I'm gonna be able to sleep if I don't talk to someone.

Fuck! I can't take it any-more! I can't hold this in any longer. It's eating at me and I need to get it out.

I need to get Nikki. He'll probably kill me for waking him up, but I'm taking the risk.

I wipe off my pathetic tears, take a breath, uncross my legs, and get off my bed. I try not to pay attention to the faint sounds of James' heavy breathing down the hall, as I walk towards Nikki's room. I get to the door, and slowly push it open a crack, hesitant.

I hear a groan coming from Nikki. He must have heard me open the door.

Shit.

My heart begins to race again, and I'm about to run away, but to my relief, Nikki walks up to the door with a confused look on his face.

"DJ? You okay?"

I just stand there, quiet, in the crack of the door. I could feel the tears about to pour out again, as I nod my head slowly.

I know if I try to say anything, my voice will crack so I don't. Nikki must notice, because he opens the door wide and puts an arm out to me.

"Come in... Let's talk."

I walk in slowly, with my head down, trying to hide the fact that I feel so emotionally wrecked right now. When the lights turn on, I squeeze my eyes shut and a feel a single tear drip down my face. All I want to do is smack myself right now. I'm so embarrassed. I feel an arm around my shoulder, and see Nikki's concerned face.

"What's goin' on?

* * *

"If something was going on with James, you think he would tell us... right?"

"I... would hope he would. Why? Do you think somethings wrong?"

I breathe deeply, close my eyes and shake my head trying to brush the thought away.

"I don't know... I'm probably overthinking it..."

Nikki looks at me, confused, brows furrowed.

"You know... a lot of times people say that your intuition is bullshit, but personally I believe in following your gut. A lot of times when you have a gut instinct about something, it's actually right."